I have been on the hunt to read up on the African Culture- I thought what better way to get more information and learn about some things that I still do not know than to ask my fellow members in the Africa:Sub-Saharan forum. It could be about anything...........that you know to be true that you want to share. I was mainly interested in the male African culture thru my search I saw this book that was written by this author Pete "Oil King" Agbo- Loving the African male: What every women must know. Have anyone read this book? Would also like to hear your reviews on the book if you have read it. I am posting to gain more knowledge.....KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

That's interesting. Let us know what you find out. My fiance is from Ghana, I tend to focus on his culture. I don't think I fully get the concept of an "african" culture because Africa is not a country of a single group of people. So I found that there are cultural differences within the continent itself. I suppose that there are broad differences like the "western experience" versus the "african experience" that you could research. It's definitely complicated, especially because my "american" experience probably isn't closely related to many others unless we have similar backgrounds. I found that my fiance's background is not the same as other groups within Ghana like the Ashanti or Akan. In terms of what I think could help my relationship and understanding my future husband, I have really targeted my focus on him and his tribe and his religion. I think that maybe in the future, or maybe our children, will be interested in broader research and understanding of all the cultural emergences on the continent of Africa.

It's wonderful that u want to learn about the African culture...but the continent of Africa is just as diverse in its countries as other continents are. There are over 200 tribes in Africa and each has its own traditions and culture. The countries vary as well, as do the state in each country. So what type of information are u wanting? There are alot of wonderful websites u can google and find stuff out, but i agree that learning from the experience of a real person brings so much more clarity!

I will check that book out.
Even though the cultural tradition is so different from tribe to tribe I think she was looking for some general information about the
sub-saharan male. Each of us could give a brief and general description of daily life in their SO's country.

Hoping some African SO's give us some insight.

I am talking to myself........hey where is everybody ?

I would be interested how the African ( sub-saharan ) man interacts with his wife or in a relationship, what is expected, what is
negotiated, how is the communication flowing ? What is really different from the western ways in this regard ?
Romance, household chores, children, couple time, socializing........etc. from a traditional viewpoint so we can understand the adjustment
period better and the cultural influence when we are just like what the heck just happened with the deer in the headlight look
What , if anything , changes traditionally after the courtship into marriage ?
Looking for ingrained cultural norms to understand his struggle to fit here.
OK now you all can tell me that depends not only on his country and his tribe ( I don't think there is one member here who does not realize Africa
is not a country......we are not in the OT forum here ) but on his personality........yes, I know I know but
lets keep it simple and lighthearted so we can grasp some things here..........paging all African VJ men, enlighten us! I really am interested
from the men's perspective.
Francis where are you ? You had given us a little taste before, we want more.

Hello Everyone,

In my research I found books on Yoruba/Nigerian culture that you are allowed to read online. Some will allow you to download in .pdf.

Check it out: www.books.google.com

You have to register to read the books online. Not all will allow you to read or download but it's a start.

You call always check out your public library. Check and see if the public library in your area has a website, if so, you can search their database for books on Yoruba, etc culture, request it and pick it up at the front desk. I found a book on Yoruba to English dictionary but not as helpful as the cassette tapes and book I purchased at the airport in Lagos.

Hakeem and I would like to wish you all a Bless and Happy New Year.

Constance

Here is what I know: my fiance has said that he does not mind doing domestic chores as long as I don't go telling his friends about it

I checked this book out Forchika and it sounds exactly what I am looking for.............it is ordered and I can wait to read it.
Thank you for this excellent suggestion. It is full of practical advice and examples about communication, romance, finances, children,
food issues etc. ........awesome!

Have you read it ?

Also wondering some of the same things Omoba????? I like your idea of keeping it simple also..... Like one topic of discussion right now that we have had is about the house work and the kids, it falls along the lines of the way I was brought up also, he states that as long as young kids are in the house there are certain things that we should not have to do..... I happen to agree. We have two age 10 and 12 who may be a little behind due to my own lack of starting them late and staying on them to get things done. I can remember when I was in Nigeria they had a little girl that stayed with them that helped cook and take care of the baby and she also would run small errands. I was really shocked because she seemed so young but handled things so well. We all know the basics about how important the family and(I like when I here mum call and she says" I just called to hear your voice")religion are (he has not missed a Sunday at church since he has been here, still prays everyday and fast every week)

Thanks for the link HakeemConstance, I went to the local library..........did not find anything there, I will keep searching on line.

Ur Welcome,

Not Yet, but I will order it at amazon.com tonight.

A very diplomatic angle

Isn't that men in general? You know they have to uphold that macho image!!!!!!

About children and housework, that reminds me of when my fiance said to me that his 15 year old daughter cooks his meals and I said
she whaaaaaat ..........well when you are both here I will cook for her..........he busted out laughing in disbelief and both of them thought that was funny. well, I just have to make a believer out of them won't I ?

I agree teenagers here in the US are so spoiled rotten and their idle mind leads to trouble. Just asking them to take the trash out is met by constant whining.
Glad mine are raised and waiting to hear their kids whine next.....while I will smile to myself.

Oh yeah you know it ! Maybe we can use that as a future bribe.....mop that floor or I will call the guys at the office and tell them you dusted the furniture
with the pink feather duster while you were wearing your apron and I have the picture to prove it..............just being a meanie and don't even care if he does housework, well ok maybe once in a while. Repairs , maintenance and yard work would be great if he would do that.....I despise that.

Pssssstttttt (come closer and swear you won't tell....)

My husband wore 2 inch white platform sandals in a radio contest race against 49 other men in the rain to try and win our daughter front row Hannah Montana tickets & back stage passes. And I DO have pictures already in the scrapbook. He made me swear to never mention it or show the pictures to any friends or family back in Jamaica.

Thanks for reminding me I have blackmail materials!

BWUAHAAAHAAAAAHA ok I won't tell.......... actually that was really kind of him to do that for her.

...did he win the tickets?

Sadly, no. He won his first race; but lost the semi-finals and never got to those all-important finals.

Talk about belly laughs.....50 guys in 2+ inch high heels duct taped to their feet. It was about 100 times more comical then you all are picturing in your minds right now.

http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f377/jom...621337_0004.jpg

He wanted to camp out overnight a few weeks ago in the 8 inches of snow we had to buy them for her 2nd St. Louis appearance in just a few months. I drew the line on that one. Funny is one thing. Freezing to death is another.

You gotta love him for trying! That was very nice, ummm .... funny of him.

I found a website that gave me a free download and I've been practicing my hausa. It's so much fun. Mama was so surprised when I sent her a card for her birthday with hausa written in it. It's fun to hear the surprise in Bassi's voice. I told him that I have to learn it quickly cause I don't want my children doing something and I don't know I should be punishing them!





What happens at home stays at home!

That was so thoughtful of him, but I just can't imagine men in heals trying to run.....

I don't mind doing housework too much. I agree with the repairs and shoveling snow and yard work (except for my vegetable garden). The maintenance on a house is so much work. Those can be his domain. I told him I am making a list of his responsibilities. He laughs but he knows I'm dead serious!

That's hilarious but sooooooooo sweet! He's a keeper!

There are certain things that my fiance will never have to worry about like laundry. When I used to live with my sisters we would take turns. They would leave the clothes in the drier so long that they became all wrinkly. I HATE THAT. So, instead, I offered to do the laundry. So much better for my sanity

Aother is the kitchen. This is another area that I am very particular. I do not like having people in my kitchen with me. I like my solitude. If he wants to cook that is fine with me (he's a good cook....yum) but helping me is out of the question. And I need to have all my dishes done before I go to bed. I do not leave pots and pans in the sink overnight

Bassi INSISTS on helping in the kitchen when I'm cooking. It slows the process down, but it's so much fun! He's beyond silly. His mom said he used to do the same thing with her. I hope it will be similar here. I say hope because you know when you're on vacation and cooking by choice it's not the same as after a 12 hour day while helping the baby with her homework and trying to get dinner done quickly. Bassi eats everything I cook with relish. I LOVE cooking for my man.

I don't dislike dishes in the sink, but I find that if I empty the sink every night, in the morning it makes me smile when I go in the kitchen. The room feels lighter somehow. But I run the dishwasher so it's not time consuming and since I make three meals a day in my kitchen, I usually have a full dishwasher every night. When the dishwasher is full, I run it and prop the door open to air dry the dishes. If the cat doesn't close it. He hates cabinet doors open in the kitchen. obessessive compulsive cat, go figure!

Bassi is very protective. Almost over-protective. He thinks I do too much. If we go shopping in Accra, he won't let me carry bags. It's interesting because I see women going by with boxes on their heads and he won't let me carry a bag of groceries. He also seems to be aware of where I am all the time when we are together. I think I feel protected when I'm with him. Not like I would step out in front of a car to "test" him. But I'm used to fending for myself. I always took care of myself and my baby. Even in my previous marraige. It's very different to feel so very well taken care of. I should say that when I'm in the center of his family, I feel that all of the men are that way. One wife is every man's wife so they all sort of "watch" over us. I can remember talking with Bassi's sister in law one evening and we got up to get something to drink and two cousins asked us what do you need. Samira told them we want water but I can not drink from the well. So they sent one of the kids to fetch two bottles of water for us. And we just continued talking and laughing.

Does anyone know a good cookbook that teaches ghanaian dishes? and also some cameroonian dishes. My husband said he loved the food in cameroon. I know how to follow recipes but dont really know how to cook. I was raised on TV dinners and some hispanic dishes.

I found some, but it's hard to know how authentic they are. I asked for help the other day and got a couple recipes that I can feel sure are more authentic.

UPenn has some recipes on their website. ghanalounge has a bunch of recipes. I also found something called cookbookwiki. They have a section on Ghana. Amazon has some books listed mostly as West African Cooking. One book called True Ghana Delights (i think) looked interesting but I don't think it's authentic. I think it changes the traditional recipes to make it a bit high-brow and I haven't learned how to make the basics yet. Another good place to check for recipes is blogs. There are some missionaries in Ghana who have blogs and list recipes that they learned from native Ghanaians while there. Those are probably authentic.

cool thanks! I did learn how to make shitor which even my mom loved and she hates any kind of fish.

That sounds familiar

Hey! What's shitor? I thought it was a pepper sauce, but I guess it's something different.

! I did learn how to make shitor which even my mom loved and she hates any kind of fish.
[/quote]

Hey! What's shitor? I thought it was a pepper sauce, but I guess it's something different.
[/quote]

Yes, it is a hot sauce but its made with dried ground shrimp. It tatse a little like a filipino sauce. Very hot!

My husband and I have found this site to be helpful www.congocookbook.com

Thanks for sharing. I could use some help in this department.

That is so incredibly sweet that he would do all that to try to win tickets for your daughter. WOW!!!!!!

At least your cat closes the doors. Mine opens them farther and climbs in. One time, he was sitting in the cupboard with the canned tomatoes. It was so funny.

He's a curious cat. He'll climb in open cubpoard doors. And if you leave the toilet lid up, he climbs on the seat and plays in the water.

Does your SO like your cat? I was reading an old post about some African countries not liking cats because they think they are evil. I saw lots of cats when I was in Ghana. They were pets and they were around. Bassi said they are kept around to catch mice. Goats were obviously more popular. But Bassi doesn't hate my cat. I made them talk on the phone once. They were both a bit annoyed with me, but they love me so they deal with my idiosyncracies.

I found this website and I used it to make the African Fried Rice the other day check it out, I think it had a variety of different dishes from several different parts of Africa...... I like it because, you can watch her cook live thru the internet. I just love cooking with Yetti......

http://www.afrofoodtv.com/

Thanks for sharing forchika. I'll check it out.

Thanks forchika, nice site. I need more west African dishes, like Cassava etc.......if anyone has more ideas please share.

Perfect! I just viewed her cooking Puff Puff. Tomorrow after church I will try to provide my husband with a nice suprise. He's the cook in our household, so whatever I do in the kitchen is often appreciated.

Efia - I found a Ghanaian cookbook on Amazon that was ok, but most of what I know is from when I was there. If you would like a few of the recipes that my husband and I make, then let me know and I'll either post them or PM you. Most of Ghanaian cooking is not so much about measurements but about approximations.

Just wanted to add this link. It is the cookbook that Peace Corps Volunteers were given in Ghana. It has basic recipes that obviously only use ingredients that can be found in Ghana. Some are Ghanaian food and others are American foods modified to be used with ingredients available there.

http://ghanarpcv.org/pdf/DawnOfCooking.pdf

Thank You forchika for leading us to that book. ( Loving the African Male)

U Welcome,


Glad you came back to join us here!!!!!!!

Hello everyone, i'm new to the forum but wanted to post my two (or three, or four) cents!

I'm recently married to a Ghanaian man. He is an Akan. I have to say that, like someone else mentioned, Africa (and even Ghana) is a diverse place with many different subcultures. I've found the most helpful thing for me to do is to attempt to learn his language and how to cook Ghanaian dishes that he likes. The following website is a good resource for anyone married to an African man/woman www.abibitumikasa.com. They off courses in several different African languages including Twi and Swahili. They even offer classes!

Awwwww man! That is such a cool resource. I want to learn hausa and it's not listed. Dang nab it!!! I've been going through an online course from byki.com. They have hausa. It's at your own pace, which is good, cause I forget things now that I haven't been back to Ghana in six months.

PS Welcome to VJ! How is your visa journey going?