NO-!!!

WOwwwwwww.......... cool thread(s). From reading, I think I have learned and/or confirmed a few things:

1. Apparently, mayonnaise is a major staple of the russian diet.
2. Our girls may be on the small side (at least compared to American women) but "watch out" if you cross them. They can hurt you.
3. Point number 2 above is also probably a "turn-on" to us...... at least it is for me anyway..... hehe
4. Many of our girls are in-tune with their mystical gypsy natures. Boy.... do I have stories that I could tell if Nata consented.
5. [insert your own observations]

Okay, I thought I was the only sick bastard with regards to that little trait. When some drunk/strung-out guy was staggering up to Nadya (he was a patient at her hospital, had developed a little crush on her, and recognized her while we were walking together to dinner), just as I thought I was going to have to intervene she lit into him like he'd left his shoes on the bed or something ( ) and he just slunk away into the darkness. That was...so...hawt. (and yet scary too.)

Afraid not.......... you are not alone Slave-Boy.

Yes, far. My Alla (as I think most Russian girls) can be the same way! An angry Alla is sometimes a treat!

My Sasha doesn't exactly get angry. Rather, she intimidates me with her intelligence. She's pretty much all sweetness. And any little argument usually goes in her favor. And she doesn't even need to raise her voice.

Ha! My (angry) wife will raise her voice and rant and yell, even in public, but the temper-tantrums and pouting usually remind me more of a six-year-old than a hot dominatrix.

"I not like this $30 dinner and I will not be eat this foo-blat. I want go home."

Yep. That's hot!

Oh this thread is really giving me a laugh each day! Hey, Slim, Alla has had her six year old moments just like that too! And, for Jason, can pull the "Sasha". I have no words that could possibly help the present situation. Alla has successfully outwitted me again with her meticulous intelligence!

The way I tell a playful anger from the real thing is how much Russian is spoke. If I had been truly bad. She pretty much tells me off in 100$ Russian, purposely. "You want to know what I say? You want to understand me? Go to find dictionary and study!"

You all will probably agree with me that this is what we love about our Russian girls. They challenge us with a cornucopia of emotions. Life is always interesting with them.

Yep, if the "slovar" is involved, chances are it's pretty serious. I've actually learned quite a few English words since my wife's arrival too. Many of the translations for Russian words are either "older" American words or words that are so out of use that I've never even heard them. Or never used them in that way!

It does add an element to the relationship that is absent without the language/cultural difference. Sometimes it's challenging, other times frustrating... and sometimes even rewarding. Always interesting though, that's for sure!

You guys must be doing something wrong. I know *my* girl would never say such thing to me.

She doesn't need to. Already got you on a pretty short leash, huh?

Wow, slim what kind of restaurants did she eat at back in Russia? My wife had been to a restaurant just a few times in her life prior to coming to the US. You must have spoiled her!
Anyway, the best response to that it, no more restaurants, we'll eat at home from now on.

I know I totally spoiled my Alla. We went to a nice place once a week in Kazan'. I remember one night she reminded me that no man, even her former husband had ever taken her to a restaurant (only cafés). She asked, "We will go often in America too?" I said, well... not quite, but at least once a month to a nice tasty place!

Yep, I've heard this one more then a few times. It doesn't matter what nationality the restaraunt is, it is always "stupid American food"...

I don't know, my wife enjoys the few times we go out no matter where it is to.

Unfortunately Sasha is an expert at dining out.

My wife needs more training then yours!

She says no, it's not short. It's just the right length.

Sure she's talking about the leash? ..........

Ohhh!

I can't imagine what else she could be talking about. Oh, she seems to have lost the leash though. She keeps saying she needs микроскоп to find it...

Wonder if this thread goes on long enough, if it can circle around far enough to wind up back on engagement rings again?



I hosted a couple of Ukraines at my house and the organization they came through gave them $25 a day to eat on. The first thing they wanted to do was go to the grocery store. After about 3 days, they felt it was cheaper to eat out than to buy food and cook it.

I think this is true very often but the food you end up eating is certainly the highest of fat content.

Someone brought up the issue of older RW always being fat (or nearly) and I think it is true, of the RW I see there (and RW here) many do in fact get fat.
Is anyones MIL an exception?

As one lady explained to me, RW expect to get fat when they enter that stage in life, it is normal for a woman to cling to fitness and beauty when she is young but all Russian woman go through a mental change at about 35, what was important before has changed to something else. In the same way a 22 yr old man dreads loosing his hair yet a 45 yr old man can accept it easier.

They say the best predictor of what your wife will look like tomorrow is "what does her mother look like now?"
Weren't all these round 47 yr old ladies once 47 kilo babes too?


Wonder how many guys would be "ok' with their wife sporting the bod of their mother inlaw?

If your girl reads this forum, we will understand if you speak in "safe" terms

A lot of the older Russians I know, who have adults kids but are not yet pensioners, they go to work, come home, the women cook dinner and do housework on the weekends, but the rest of the time they're watching tv. They're still eating the heavy foods, but they're not going out salsa-dancing and all of the other stuff your girls do. Plus your metabolism slows down as you get older. I think you're right that the focus shifts from yourself and your own beauty to something else, say, your grandkids.

It's not as noticeable in the USA because the sitting-around-watching-tv-all-the-time generally starts much earlier... say age three

LMAO! Hahaha. Now I really hope she is talking about that leash.

Older Russian women who actually remain thin are very rare it seems. I know I pray that my sweet little Sasha will remain this way, but its only because I know that I will never be able to get fat. In my family no man is overweight. Just doesnt happen. I wouldnt want my poor Sasha to get fat alone.. . We just need to keep our Russian ladies living an active lifestyle into their golden years. Maybe we can break the trend. And for God's sake keep them away from Oprah and the television as much as you can!.....

This thread is (was) about engagement rings-???

Well my future MIL is only a bit bigger than my fiancée. Not picking on the pudgie, well a little maybe. It still comes down to how bad do you want it. If I sat back, gave up running in favour of more television, chips and dip, I would eventually get fat too. My fiancée and I like our trim physiques. If we continue to motivate each other and walk, run, work out, or what have you, we can maintain a nice form for life. The problem for many couples is they eventually compromise this aspect. Physical form and an active lifestyle become less of a priority than other things. For others, it remains important for all of life. I have seen many older couples in my area out on the trails, running, biking, rollerblading, etc. that are far from fat. Some are quite old and I envy their shape! Age does not mandate an increase of girth. It comes down to more intake than outtake and what you are or not willing to do about it.

Actually the American lifestyle lends itself to getting fat especially if you live outside of big cities. I know of many ladies who moved here and easily gained 10 pounds a year and quickly lost their figure!

I know some that have gained too. But some that have stayed the same, also, due to adjustments in lifestyle.

Another thing to add... You don't just wake up the next day having found yourself 5 kilos more than the day before. When you find yourself a kilo or two heavier, maybe do something now instead of waiting for the other two or three to join the party.

True, but if you compared 50+ year old women from Russia and the US, I think you'd see that our older ladies here maintain a slimmer figure. Its also true that American women age better. I've always said that young Russian women are much more beautiful than young American women. But the opposite seems to be true for older women. Older American women have more options for health care and beauty. Sasha lived in the US twice and each time she seemed to actually lose weight. She's also very active in America.

My wife is not one of the girls "from small village." She has lived in big cities the whole of her adult life and lived abroad for several years as well. She's grown accustomed to the men in her life giving her anything and everything she wished for especially when it comes to food and restaurants. So, when she came here and was "disappointed" with the quality of life and food, she naturally blamed it on me.

I was not the one that spoiled her and my attempts to do (and/or break) that now have only led to further disappointments on the culinary front. We've located several places that are pretty good, but each one requires the better part of a C-Note to dine. That's just not possible on our budget so it's "eating at home from now on" which really ends up screwing me. I'm not a big fan of soup and salad and I really don't feel the need to have a diet of cucumbers and beet soup with the luxury of some pilmeny (that takes several hours to make) every now and then. Oh, and then we get to clean the kitchen afterwards! Yay!!!!

I do have a secret weapon and it's called chicken wings. She seems to like those pretty well so I sneak in the pizza with the wings and then we're good to go for a couple days. (Well, I'm good to go for a couple days, anyway.) I'm still working on the hamburgers (which are like poison!) but we've compromised with (budget friendly?) salmon burgers here at home.

We're still trying to get the balance of "good" foods and "good" prices with me holding out for the least amount of cleanup possible. We've made some progress in the last year but we're not all the way home yet.



Mine too!



You ever seen Mallrats? "If a girl says it's a nice size, that's a nice way of saying it's small." (We're still talking about the leash, right?)



$25 a day would be awesome!

We've had the "eating out vs. eating at home" debate just about once a week since my wife's been here. For two people to eat prepared meals at home, the savings really isn't so much that it's worth the inconvenience of grocery shopping, preparing, cleaning up, etc.

The health benefits on the other hand, there's your savings! I'm one of those guys that likes a good Whopper for breakfast and I'm pretty sure that's not what my mom would've made for me when I was growing up "big and strong." So, we compromise a little. We usually get breakfast and lunch from the store and either prepare it to take to work or eat at home and then for dinner we do about 50/50. Sometimes we'll eat at home and sometimes we eat out. Leftovers, if planned properly, can save a whole lot of money. (And be healthier.)



I believe by that time it's not supposed to matter so much. If you've been married for 20+ years, sure it's nice to have a partner that's in great shape and still looks beautiful, but that's where the "through thick and thin" (emphasis on thick!) comes in. You should be able to love them even if they have no face or no legs or something to that effect. Sure, weight gain isn't comparable to a car accident or another form of disfigurement, but hopefully you're more in love with the person than the person's looks.

My wife said she's just going to have lyposuction and facial surgery and all that to be beautiful forever. I said, "Well, than eat up!" But for some reason she's yet to buy into my school of thought. Something about cholesterol and healty living... ah, foooey.



Since Oprah's been mentioned here before, and we all know she's the champion of "gaining a few" and then "losing a few" I'll go ahead and jump on her bandwagon. I'm the type of guy that can gain 5 kilos in a very short time and before I know it, it's been three months and I'm 30 pounds heavier.

But, as Jeffery pointed out, all it takes is a little adjustment and boom! that 30 pounds never even happened. Easier to do when it's only 11 pounds as opposed to 30. And the women definitely know it. Hell, they know when they've gained a single pound, so 5 kilos is no surprise.

Best thing to to, as said, is keep that active lifestyle going. Now if I could just break away from VJ.....




I disagree on grounds that American women aren't necessarily slimmer, it's just that they've been bigger their entire lives so by the time they're "old" they don't seem to have gotten bigger the way the small young Russian woman turned into the "big" Russian old woman. The change is more gradual and less of a change actually. To add 25-40 pounds over a lifetime as opposed to adding 25-40 pounds after ritirement.

There is more of an attempt for women to "stay beautiful" even in old age here more than anywhere else in the world (except maybe Italy or France or something.) I bet that's probably more due to marketing and the beliefs than anything else. In many cultures, an "old" woman is revered because of her age and life experience, wisdom, etc. Here, she's just "old and ugly." That's kind of sad.

Slim, exactly! Every day Alla gets on the scale. She always has. If she sees a rise of even one kilo, she simply cuts back or picks up the pace for a few days. As soon as her magic number returns, all is normal. In the year we lived together over there, her weight only "grew up", in her words, twice. Both times it took her less than three days to return to her "goal" mass. This truly is the secret, if you will. It is easier to maintain something then repair it!

Yes I agree, I liken her move here to putting a "freeze-dried" babe in water.

While I do know more American girls who are on the heavy side than Russian ones, I think that fat american girls are a recent phenomenom. If you look at my mom's high school yearbook, there's a higher percentage of thin girls than in mine--although perhaps that is due to my mother living in an area with a heavy Russian/Ukrainian/Belarusian immigrant population!

I've always been thin though.

I think the key difference about Russian and American women in middle age is that women in America now, the baby-boomers, totally see it as the "me" time in their life, where now they get to do what they want and spend a lot of time on themselves. The vast majority of the Russian women I know of this age are still taking care of other people: husbands/adult sons/grandchildren.

True in the recent development of "fatness" but probably a little off on the reasoning. If you look at the lifestyles of your mother's era as opposed to your own there was a significant difference in how the family was structured, how that influenced diet and excercise and how that, in turn, effected peoples' body shapes.

Back in the day, there was a "core" family where mom did the cooking and the kids "ate their vegetables" and there was no X-Box or Playstation, no cell phones and no e-mail. There weren't 34 fast-food restaurants on the main drag of every small town and mom wasn't too busy working to cook dinner for dad and the kids. (Even if she was too busy working, she still did her "womanly duties" at home.) And, she was expected to have a nice shape.

Fastforward 30 years and now most women work and that "core" family isn't what it used to be. The "two" heads of the family both work and while Junior's out at soccer practice and little Suzy has her dance lessons, there's really no time for dinner because both mom and dad are busy finishing up TPS reports and trying to shuttle the kids around. No time for dinner? Oh well, we'll just pick something up on the way home where we'll watch it in front of the TV. Nothing says family values like processed food and lame plots. There's absolutely no way we'd ever "talk" to each other!

And now since mom's so busy, how can she ever have time to excercise and eat healthy? She's had the prerequisite 2.3 kids, she can strap on that 30 extra pounds whenever she wants. No big deal. After all, she's had kids! And she's a working mom!

In Russia, regardless of how many kids a woman has or what kind of job she has or what she does in her spare time or any other factor... she's still a woman. And woman must looks like woman looks; with nice shape. With figure. With beauty and elegance. With not greasy @$$.

But, like in the U.S., this is changing as well. Who knows, maybe our children will be looking at our mothers' yearbooks and saying "wow, look how thin all the ladies were."



Not all American women are fat. Not all Russian women are skinny. It's a personal choice, it's just been made more acceptable here in the U.S. When I stand in a crowd here, I'm chubby, at best. But when I'm in Russia, I'm the fat guy, hands down!



That could be true, but do they need to spend all that "me" time concentrating on making themselves larger? That seems to be what a lot of them are doing. I'm not saying it's wrong or bad or anything like that. I really could care less. But what gets me about the whole women/thin/fat thing is women themselves set the standards and then want to complain when the standards don't suit them anymore. If you're not happy with the shape/size of your body, then quit reading Cosmo and Shape and watching America's Next Top Model. Or, do something about it. Either way... quit b!tching!

I think your fiance and I are the only women on earth who dislike diamonds.

Lucky us!

Fat chicks rule! Sorry, just surprised the ring thread has become the fat chick thread. Its amusing actually.

To add to Slim's great post, let me say this simply. Consider this comparison:

My Former American Wife:
Works 8 to 9 hours a day. Comes home routinely too tired to fix supper. Instead of cooking, brings home big bag of McDonald's or orders pizza. After supper sits on the coach and reads mail and then watches television. Children are expected to do most of the laundry and clean the kitchen since she worked all day.

My Russian Fiancée:
Works 9 to 10 hours a day. Comes home and fixes supper for the family, including her own parents. Has never brought home supper. (What drive-through? Even if there were, she'd never bring home this "not useful" food.) After supper will routinely go "on street" to walk or join her children in play. After they return, she puts them to bed and then does all the housework herself.

Huge difference! Sounds like Alla needs a vacation .

I like the way she puts it, "Jeffery, I wait for our new life. Mine is so deeficult-!"

Just make sure you are not doing what your former American wife was doing. Otherwise it won't be long before your Russian wife also gets fed up with her working "double" shifts (one at home and one at work).
Also some American women on VJ might find that what you are really looking for is a housekeeper / maid / cook / child care hand. And as far as I underatand, nobody workers harder at "work" then Americans. At least those folks who have worked both in Russia and the US tend to say we work harder here. So what your former wife was doing might be justifiable if she was really tired.

American women don't do everything like Russian women do because we don't have to. Russian men are generally raised by mothers who do everything for them, thus it's expected of their wives. I suppose that single mothers generally do as much as Alla does, but if i were married and working and my husband refused to help with the cooking or cleaning, he wouldn't have a wife for very long.

Well I am hardly looking for a housekeeper. Those examples are from now, as it this day. When I was married to my former wife, I did a healthy amount of the chores, same when I lived in Kazan' with Alla. I am comparing two women living without men at the present.

As for "Harder working Americans"... Very subjective! I've seen road crews in Russia sweating their rears off for 8 hours, all working, and then I see 5 Americans following one guy with a shovel here.

Yeah, I'm actually surprised someone from one of the other regional forums hasn't stepped in and ranted about how we're all looking for housekeepers and sex slaves.

In my case, my ex did more than 50% of the house work, and she resented it. Never mind that I worked 12 hour days to her 8 hour days, or that when I did try to make her happy by picking up my so-called slack that it either went completely unnoticed or she'd just find something else to be unhappy about. And I believe that one of the biggest things that made her unhappy is that she couldn't decide whether she wanted to take on a more traditional role or if she wanted to wear the pants in the family. It made it confusing for both of us. One day she wanted to be "liberated," and the next she wanted to be Suzie-homemaker. And then the next day she wanted to be a tramp, but that's really a whole 'nuther story.

I don't want a maid or a sex slave. Okay, I wouldn't say no to either one of those quite frankly , but that's not what my current relationship is about. I know my girl is happy and secure in a traditional role. I also know that "traditional role" doesn't mean I sit and watch TV while she's cleaning the house, but it also means she's not going to fume about having to clean or do the shopping by herself just because I'm working late.

And whereas my ex-wife didn't put a lot of effort into making herself look nice because it was too much trouble, I appreciate the fact that Nadya *wants* to go to that trouble. (Heck, it makes me want to go to the extra trouble to look good for her.) She likes to look beautiful for me, but she doesn't do it *for* me. She feels secure in her gender, secure in her role, and doesn't feel like she has to prove herself "equal" to men.

If a woman wants to take on the traditional male role, fine. But she needs to find herself a partner who can compliment that role, and not work against it. This whole crap about marriage being 50/50 is just that, crap. Marriage isn't about 50/50, it's about each partner taking on a role that makes the relationship work. I may do less laundry, but I might do more work to bring in the money. I might not make the bed every morning, but I do keep the car running. It's all apples and oranges though, so you can't keep score and decide that one partner is only doing 48% while the other is stuck doing 52%. You do what makes the relationship work. I think American women in general have unknowingly abandoned this concept in their quest to be "equal." I agree that women have historically been given the short end of the stick and that most of their criticisms are still valid to this day. But so many women have confused role with oppression. FSU women, on the other hand, seem to understand the concept. They're just like American women in that if you abuse the balance of the relationship they're going to be just as unhappy as an American woman would be. But if you're filling the obligations of your role, then they feel absolutely no need to step over that line into your role.

Caveat: Obviously we're not living together just yet, so my viewpoint may need a little tweaking in a few months. But in talking with my SO and others, it seems about right to me.

Strange Mox....... I think maybe we were married to the same woman...... except for the tramp part. I concur with you regarding roles. I think American women have been totally mind-f***ked regarding their roles. Because of this they seem neither happy at home nor at work.

Which means she is looking forward to dropping some of her current responsibilities and expecting you to pick up some of the slack.



Satellite makes a good point above. My Russian wife now sees it something like this; she must work at work and then must work at home. I don't think she had to work quite as hard before and now that she is doing "work" at work, coming home to a messy apartment doesn't make her feel any more womanly that she has to clean up this place too. It makes her feel mad at her lazy husband. Nevermind the fact that he's working to pay the bills, he should be doing his part and taking the stress off his wife. She's not roommate, she's wife.

So, the traditional role of "homemaker after work" when your Russian lady arrives here may change a little after she works at her American job for a while. Be prepared to do the dishes, laundry, vacuum, mop the floor (again because you f--k up and not do right) and all of the other "work" that your lady took a lot of pride in doing back home. Now that she's here and "working" she may not want to do that stuff so much anymore.

I'll be the first to say that for her to get me to do those things it's like pulling teeth because, unlike the rest of the guys, I do want a maid and sex slave (not that I'm really expecting to get it, but that's what I wish for) and I look at it like if I'm going to pay all the bills, she should do all the housework. (And give up the booty!) However, I'm learning that even though I pay all the bills, I'm nowhere near rich enough to afford a maid and/or sex slave and as long as she's working too, I'm the one that's probably going to be the maid, and if I'm lucky, the sex slave. (Not in a submissive, apple in the mouth kind of way, just in the "I'm married so I finally got some this weekend" kind of way.)



My wife has now assimilated into this American school of (female) thought. She's quoted that last line plenty of times. It seems the "working" part is what has helped her adopt this new ideology. In Russia, regardless of how much "work" a woman does at work, she's still expected to do the "woman's work" at home. Here, that went out the door when the women started going to work. And dare I say, most of you who don't have your wives, girlfriends here and working, once they do, that "Russian woman" ideology of doing all the work at home will also morph into that "American woman" school of thought. "You better pull your own weight you SOB. You're not the only one working around here. Do your job at home or else you can find a new home." (Said with a nice accent, of course.)



Mox, I cut out some of that simply to save space but that whole post summed it up pretty well. I agree 100% that marriage isn't 50/50. It's "you do your part and I'll do mine." But, those parts get somewhat confused and when she starts "working" then she's going to inform you of your new role. Your part will change.

I don't understand why my part has to change. I didn't change anything. I'm still the primitive fat man she married. Why don't I clean the cat litter box? Because I didn't want to get cats in the first place because I knew they eat and $#!T and I don't like cleaning litter boxes so therefore I didn't have cats before you got here. You wanted cats, you clean the $#!T. Why don't I do dishes? Because I know better than to cook and make a mess. When you eat McDonalds, there's no mess! Why don't I get down on my hands and knees and mop the floor? Because I USED TO WEAR MY SHOES IN HERE and they tracked OUT all the mess!!!

How did I ever get by without her?



And that's why you're better off "doing your part" at home after she starts working. Funny how happy she is to do everything while you're out supporting the family and she's sitting at home but once she works, you better start pulling your own weight and doing all the "extra" stuff that she had to do for you. (Even if it wasn't your idea. I didn't want to get two cats!)

Guys... you can't win. Russian, American, I've found out now, a year down the road, this is one area that it doesn't really matter. You're going to be wrong and you're going to be expected to do some of the work. Even if you fight it (like I do) it's going to be easier, and quieter, to just do it. I would type some more, but I've got laundry to do, rugs to beat, groceries to by and I have to work all night long. It's so hard working and doing all this housework too. But, it's got to be 50/50 or else you just live with a roommate, not a wife.

Oh no doubt, Slim! But a little differently than you might be thinking. We've discussed it many times. Her biggest gripes are these...

Sharing a bedroom with her mother and children; Feeling obligated to entertain her mom each night in conversation; Having to go on beer or smoke runs for her father; Having to listen to her parents quarrel when she wants a quiet night; Being a referee, sometimes, for the former; Being expected to be there for all three generations each and every day; Never having any privacy.

She really has no complaints about housekeeping, cooking, what have you. She appreciates it when I do the laundry, dishes, cleaning up, but this are not what she considers difficult. It really boils down to wanting to have a little elbow room. Personal space and the freedom to run her own household would give my Alla a lot of peace.

Slim, I don't know If I have related to any post in the Russian forum more then this one. However, I didn't have any other expectation after my wife started working in the US. I had no delusions about her being "Russian" and that somehow "trumped" her womenly instincts. She works and brings home a paycheck just like me.

Yah, I ###### and moan about the housework I have to do, but I do it. I married my wife for a reason, so I will sacrifice some of my mascaline dignity for her. I don't think it would be different for any other woman from any country.

Now, as far as the other failed marriages mentioned here, I think it was because you really noticed these 'extra' chores that you did because of other reasons. I could speculate what those reasons where, but I think you get the idea. Anyway I am sure (or at least hope) you will be happy in your marriages, and not notice that you are still doing lots of the same things that you did when you were with your old "American wives"

For me it boiled down to this: Going the extra mile for my ex-wife provided almost nothing in return. And if I did it "wrong" then it actually turned into a net loss. Consequently I lost all incentive to do anything but the basics because it just wasn't worth the grief.

If I can find myself in a relationship where my efforts are appreciated, then hot damn. I won't even mind doing more than my so-called fair share (to a point of course). I'll keep the car running *and* wash the dishes if it means being appreciated. And if both of us have that mentality, then it pretty much turns into the relationship equivalent of a perpetual motion machine.

And by appreciated I mean sex. But then you already knew that.

(Okay yes I mean more than just sex, but I thought it would be a funny line. 10,000 chameleons out of work and I gotta change colors...)

I know where she's coming from, and that's why I don't live in my dad's basement anymore!

It is fun to set up "your family" once the two of you (and kids) finally live together in "your" house. But, even if she does most of the work, and enjoys it, she'll still be sure to assign you "your" chores.



That's where I believe my own problems came about. I did have expectations and those were definitely not played out the way I thought they were going to be. My buddy says it's like the election. "See, she made all these campaign promises, and now that she's in office, she doesn't think it's necessary to deliver anymore... she's already been elected." (He's was actually talking about his wife and referencing oral sex and various other "awesome" things she used to do while they were dating that have since ceased after marriage.)

I had the expectation that since she "enjoyed" doing the housework and "was supporting me while I was working" that she would continue to do it even once she started working. Afterall, it's a Russian woman's job to take care of the house. Man must work and take care about car and other "man jobs" etc.

To be honest though, I think it's more about reciprocity than anything else. She comes home from work, tired from cooking and cleaning at the restaurant and sees my fat @$$ on VJ sitting around doing nothing when there's work to be done. Instead of her "enjoying" doing it like she did before, it now becomes "why I must do everything when you do nothing, blat?" The current reasoning behind the recent necessity of me helping out more is that she has to do similar "work" at her job and when she comes home she's tired of doing this kind of stuff and since I do nothing, I should be helping her. So, we'll see if she goes back to "enjoying" all of the housework when she switches jobs and starts answering the phone for a living. If I were a wagering man.....



I differ here as well. I specifically chose a foreign bride because of the commonly held belief that they must do "woman jobs" around the house and would fill a more traditional role at home. I wanted that in a wife. If I would've wanted a woman that made me do most of the housework, I could've found plenty of them here at home. Sure, there are women here that do everything, but it's not a commonly held belief that it's still "their" job to do it. They do it because they have the freedom to do it and choose to; i.e. stay-at-home mom, housewife, part-time employment, etc. Almost every foreign woman I've known has said "woman must do woman jobs."



Very true. You just choose to overlook what you're doing now because of something in another area. I know women here who would love to do everything for their guy. EVERYTHING. Yet they can't seem to keep a guy because even though they take care of him in one aspect, they don't take care of him in another. And if you look at failed marriages, past relationships, etc., you'll see that if one area wasn't all the way up to your liking, it was probably because other areas were as well. You hated doing the dishes because you hated seeing her sit there watching Oprah two hours before.

Now, you'll do the dishes (still hate it) but don't really mind because even though it pisses you off that you had to do the dishes, at least you'll be able to enjoy watching American Gladiators together; she hates Oprah.



Relationships, like all other things in life, are risk/reward. Too many people sugar-coat them as "finding happiness" and "being truly blessed" and other romantic garbage. Plain and simple, if you get out as much or more than what you're willing to put in, than you (and your partner too) will stay in a relationship, even a marriage.

You will do things you hate if it means getting things you really like. And when you get things you really like, looking back on the things you hate, they don't really seem all that bad. But only afterward. Not before, and certainly not during!