Wow,

Thanks for all of your input, and personal messages. I read them all, now it's time for me to respond.

Many may think that I'm bitter and I want you all to know that that's not the case.

I'm simply finishing up my visa journey, you have to understand that I fought hard for this man to come here, I called my senators office and others like alot of you are doing just to push the process foward and not belabor it. I spent money I didn't really have to travel to his country because it was a requirement of us being together.

I sent him money for his interview and again flew down there to be with him at that interview, I paid 75% of his plane ticket to come here and did all the necessary paperwork.

There are some details that I won't mention that I did all in the name of love for this man. And I'm sure some of you have done some things that you won't mention. However I just find it odd that many would rather just walk away and not aler the immigration office when you KNOW that u have been used.

Some have titled me bitter in their minds and a vengeful seeking person but if you same people take a moment and reflect back to all that you have went thru maybe you would see where I'm coming from and may help another person that is considering marrying a alien especially one that they barely know.

My whole intent is to alarm USC of the possibilties that may happen to them and in my mind I feel that it's good to let USCIS know of your personal experience so that they could look out for the tred of people that may use marriage as a method of coming here.

Earlier I posted a old report on visa fraud, as I myself read it I noticed that what my ex has done is nothing new and that USCIS is aware of aliens coming into the country by this method. But now you have the internet which many have met there spouse's on and the scam just becomes bigger, then you add in the VAWA which I knew nothing about until meeting my ex. and you have big time exploitation.

The USCIS I believe, does keep track of the petitioners concerns and complaints and then how will they know that your spouse used u for a greencard unless you imform them ? I bet many bet on the USC being forgiving or slack in reporting them thus they go there way with green card in hand.

Do any of you really think that's helping the situation? I met some of my ex doctors friends while there in Nigeria and they echo wanting to come into America. If I turn the other cheek there will be many other trusting Americans getting used. And even with me speaking out there will be more and more Americans filing for that alien to come here. I post my thoughts remember isng how I was going thru the I-129, there were some that would post that their husband used them and I would quickly dismiss that thought, cause I knew my fiance loved me.....ha ha. So I know for many it won't sink in until that man is here and they have signed their aos and the grerncard arrives in the mail. I already know that many won''t listen. I didn't. I talked to this woman that married a Nigerian man in the early 80's that she met at the university they both graduated from. For whatever reason she didn't adjust his statis and he returned back to Nigerai and married some young girl in the villiage. This lady is now in her 50's and her husband now has I think she said 4 kids from this young girl. Her and him had one girl child here in America, he didn't know of her pregnancy cause he had already went back and she (college grad ) didn't tell him. Years went by then he contacted her and wanted to come back into America and had his young wife in the villiage talk to her and tell her that she wanted her kids to come to America also, that she was tired of that man and since he's still legally married to an american maybe the kids can come with him.


Last I heard from her she accepted some kind of teaching position there in Lagos and was leaving America within a few weeks. She didn't want to bring him here but wanted to spend some time there to see if after all those years that past them by if there was any chance of reunion although he had remarried there and had all those kids. Anyway she warned me that ( her words ) These men will do anything or say anything to get to their goal America. But did I listen noooooooooooooooooo,

So if I come off like I'm seeking full revenge on my ex. excuse that thought out your mind as I would be in Jail right now as I type. My goal is to enlighten those that are currently going thru what I and many others that used to post here may be going thru as I type.

Don't call me bitter or vengeful because I choose to continue my visa journey in a proper way.
I just can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to report fraud, who is that helping ?

Again I encourage all those who feel that they have been scammed to report it and support deportation for them, because you don't have to just sit there and take all the bull#$#$ that your going thru without trying to help yourself and the USCIS marriage fraud is very much real and if you don't report it in a small way your helping the alien scam you and your country.

Can you imagine if they told 10 people how they did it, and the end results ( my ex-wife did nothing and I paid little to get here because my ex paid my whole way and didn't even report me to immigration) many more aliens will be coming and many more USC will be scammed.

I don't believe in that cope out story about cultural differences because if that person really loves you they would have already taken that into consideration and actually had a tate of cultural difference's while you all spent time together.

Another mention was that it takes 2 to make a marriage work, well think of it this way, your spouse's goal is to divorce you eventually, once he gets his paperwork. If that is his goal then that's what he's gonna do. It takes 2 people willing to work at a marriage to make it work, if one decides they don't want nothing to do with you , no matter how hard u try it ain't gonna work.

Some as I believe my husband knew he was gonna leave me after he arrived and fullfilled the immigrations request ( that he marry within 90=days and cohabit with me ) before he struck out on his own.

If I come across bitter please don't think of it that way. that's totally NOT THE CASE It's just part of my personality, while married to my ex. I was a submissive women, a good women and still that didn't stop him from scamming me. If that is part of your alien spouse's plan nothing will stop them from attempting achieve their goal. Some have and will marry aliens that are already married in their country .

Now I just wish that more USC would get up and speak out on this issue if they feel they have indeed been scammed, after all look at all you went thru to get them here. Isn't it good to help others from going thru your pain ? Then how will they know if you just walk away without revealing the scammer?

Ogele

Interesting questions. Are you from Africa? If your wife use profanity around you, you would divorce her or you all would discuss the problem?

Quote: Nigerians and indeed many Africans are often very demanding in terms of the intellectual,moral and character standards of their spouses. Unquote. Guess Americans don't demand those qualities.


Idocare..... Besangin.......Thank you all a thousand time for your story. Just so you will know, some of us do listen.

JJWashington..... yes, the letter writing does help the hurt. With my ex, I did question my action more so than his. The red flags were there but I was blind. We have to admit where we went wrong also. Learn, grow and let go.

Idocare and Besangin, you all don't even have a clue how you've help me. Just wanted to let you all know.

HakeemConstance:
Yes,I am Igbo,a Nigerian,an African and a United States Citizen.FYI,my U.S.citizenship was not acquired through marriage.
My use of the profanity example is to highlight the fact that disagreeable personal habits can be spoilers in a relationship.And yes,I would try to talk the problem over,but since Idocare’s ex-husband is not here to defend himself,I am not overly keen to assume that he simply packed his bags and left without making an effort.

With reference to the high standards demanded by African spouses,I think that it is common knowledge that all cultures demand same.The context in which I used this is to help Idocare and many others still on their visa journey to reassess their relationships,objectively.Even at graduate school,I met some Americans who,having watched too many documentaries on starving,disease ridden,poverty infested,unemployment gutted Africa,actually believed that Africans would swallow anything to come to the United States.Please read Idocare’s every posts on how Nigerians are desperate to come to the USA.

Comparing Idocare’s posts with Bensangin’s is to do Bensangin a wrong in my view.Please read Bensangin’s posts:decent,objective,informative,even humorous without losing the important message.Do you honestly believe that Bensangin has suffered less pain than Idocare?Probably not.Idocare’s is so colored with personal anger,negativity,and calls for blood that it scares rather than impart wisdom.And how long has it been since this divorce?You really cannot give good advice to people from a podium of anger or hate. I believe most people on this journey sincerely want to learn the truth in order to succeed and not to be harassed and scared into ditching their own plans

As a Nigerian engaged to a fellow Nigerian,there is little or no benefit in terms of advice on how to proceed with my relationship that I can receive on this forum,in the intercultural sense.But I am also as compassionate as I am pragmatic,sharing in the humanity of my fellow travelers regardless of ethnicity,race or nationality,hence my posts to contribute my humble ideas.Sometimes,you need to use a little tough love to help people along.This is a new year,a beautiful world with great prospects awaits,and I want Idocare and all others who hurt to let go and reach for their blessings.Ina proverb as ancient as my ancestors,"he who forgives,ends the argument."

I hope I was able to bring more clarity to my prior post.

Marriage fraud: Is anyone watching?
USA TODAY



Even as the Senate and President Bush on Thursday were compromising on a proposal to restrict the number of foreigners allowed to remain in the USA, one point was overlooked: There are no limits on foreign spouses.
If you can marry a U.S. citizen or legal permanent resident (a "green card" holder), you're guaranteed permanent access to the USA.

More foreigners gain U.S. residency through marriage than any other way, Department of Homeland Security data show. Marriage-based immigration accounted for 37% of all legal immigration in 2004, more than refugees and asylum seekers and employment-based immigrants combined.

Yet, Congress and the Bush administration have been so focused on border fences, guest-worker or amnesty programs that marriage-based immigration fraud has largely gone unnoticed. Immigration officials described fraud as rampant in a 2002 GAO report. Marriage fraud accounted for approximately half of all immigration fraud cases, the agency reported.

Marriage-based immigration has clear advantages:

A foreigner who marries a U.S. citizen can gain citizenship after two years rather than the usual five-year waiting period.

Cases of marriage fraud are rarely exposed. Homeland Security says it completed investigations of only 1% of marriage-based green cards in 2004.

A foreign-born spouse can apply for a green card after two years. Once approved, he or she can begin sponsoring other family members to come to the USA.

"Marrying a U.S. citizen is one of the easiest ways to stay in the United States once within the country's borders," said Janice Kephart, former counsel to the 9/11 Commission, in a 2005 report.

Kephart raises another caution about marriage fraud. After inspecting immigration files, she discovered numerous instances of immigration and marriage fraud by suspected foreign-born terrorists operating in the USA from the early 1990s to 2005.

Of the 36 suspected terrorists who obtained green cards or U.S. citizenship in the report, half acquired this status by marrying an American — 10 of them entering sham marriages. Kephart's report was for the Center for Immigration Studies, a think tank based in Washington, D.C., that promotes tighter immigration controls.

The DHS needs to investigate more immigrant marriages, and Congress should consider lengthening the time required for foreign-born spouses to gain a green card and citizenship. If the love is real, a marriage surely will last a little longer.

Elena Maria Lopez is a freelance journalist in the Philadelphia area. She's working on a book about her green-card marriage and its aftermath.


********************************************************************************
****************

Thank you to all persons who dare to speak out about heart betrayal for the sake of a green card.
Our government has put measures in place to try and protect US citizens but still how can
one truly know when someone is lying about their love for another? You cannot, in my book,
so when such a marriage scam takes place, I think it is good to report this to the proper government
authorities and to educate the public. This kind of marriage scam is nothing new, however, it keeps
happening to innocent people whom only crime was to believe in love. My prayers goes out to all
persons whom had their dreams and love exploited for someone else's personal gain.

Peace & Healing unto you,
Abena

HakeemConstance:
Yes,I am Igbo,a Nigerian,an African and a United States Citizen.FYI,my U.S.citizenship was not acquired through marriage.
My use of the profanity example is to highlight the fact that disagreeable personal habits can be spoilers in a relationship.And yes,I would try to talk the problem over,but since Idocare’s ex-husband is not here to defend himself,I am not overly keen to assume that he simply packed his bags and left without making an effort.

With reference to the high standards demanded by African spouses,I think that it is common knowledge that all cultures demand same.The context in which I used this is to help Idocare and many others still on their visa journey to reassess their relationships,objectively.Even at graduate school,I met some Americans who,having watched too many documentaries on starving,disease ridden,poverty infested,unemployment gutted Africa,actually believed that Africans would swallow anything to come to the United States.Please read Idocare’s every posts on how Nigerians are desperate to come to the USA.

Comparing Idocare’s posts with Bensangin’s is to do Bensangin a wrong in my view.Please read Bensangin’s posts:decent,objective,informative,even humorous without losing the important message.Do you honestly believe that Bensangin has suffered less pain than Idocare?Probably not.Idocare’s is so colored with personal anger,negativity,and calls for blood that it scares rather than impart wisdom.And how long has it been since this divorce?You really cannot give good advice to people from a podium of anger or hate. I believe most people on this journey sincerely want to learn the truth in order to succeed and not to be harassed and scared into ditching their own plans

As a Nigerian engaged to a fellow Nigerian,there is little or no benefit in terms of advice on how to proceed with my relationship that I can receive on this forum,in the intercultural sense.But I am also as compassionate as I am pragmatic,sharing in the humanity of my fellow travelers regardless of ethnicity,race or nationality,hence my posts to contribute my humble ideas.Sometimes,you need to use a little tough love to help people along.This is a new year,a beautiful world with great prospects awaits,and I want Idocare and all others who hurt to let go and reach for their blessings.Ina proverb as ancient as my ancestors,"he who forgives,ends the argument."

I hope I was able to bring more clarity to my prior post.

HakeemConstance:
Yes,I am Igbo,a Nigerian,an African and a United States Citizen.FYI,my U.S.citizenship was not acquired through marriage.
My use of the profanity example is to highlight the fact that disagreeable personal habits can be spoilers in a relationship.And yes,I would try to talk the problem over,but since Idocare’s ex-husband is not here to defend himself,I am not overly keen to assume that he simply packed his bags and left without making an effort.

With reference to the high standards demanded by African spouses,I think that it is common knowledge that all cultures demand same.The context in which I used this is to help Idocare and many others still on their visa journey to reassess their relationships,objectively.Even at graduate school,I met some Americans who,having watched too many documentaries on starving,disease ridden,poverty infested,unemployment gutted Africa,actually believed that Africans would swallow anything to come to the United States.Please read Idocare’s every posts on how Nigerians are desperate to come to the USA.

Comparing Idocare’s posts with Bensangin’s is to do Bensangin a wrong in my view.Please read Bensangin’s posts:decent,objective,informative,even humorous without losing the important message.Do you honestly believe that Bensangin has suffered less pain than Idocare?Probably not.Idocare’s is so colored with personal anger,negativity,and calls for blood that it scares rather than impart wisdom.And how long has it been since this divorce?You really cannot give good advice to people from a podium of anger or hate. I believe most people on this journey sincerely want to learn the truth in order to succeed and not to be harassed and scared into ditching their own plans

As a Nigerian engaged to a fellow Nigerian,there is little or no benefit in terms of advice on how to proceed with my relationship that I can receive on this forum,in the intercultural sense.But I am also as compassionate as I am pragmatic,sharing in the humanity of my fellow travelers regardless of ethnicity,race or nationality,hence my posts to contribute my humble ideas.Sometimes,you need to use a little tough love to help people along.This is a new year,a beautiful world with great prospects awaits,and I want Idocare and all others who hurt to let go and reach for their blessings.Ina proverb as ancient as my ancestors,"he who forgives,ends the argument."

I hope I was able to bring more clarity to my prior post.

The USC bears the responsibility to evaluate the relationship and the individual he/she wants to petition and it is his/her signature
on the affidavit of support by his/her choice. If this is not done with eyes wide open then deal with it and move on.

One only has themselves to blame and be accountable for one's action instead of expecting the USCIS to now spend more tax dollars
to investigate an accusation of fraud when there is no obvious proof, signed documentation or concrete evidence of fraud.
It is your word against his and that is that. Do you have 100% proof ? If not I don't want my tax dollar spend on the USCIS going on a wild goose chase of a woman scorned.

He left me is not substantial evidence and it is not the USCIS's job to act on behalf of the USC and spend hours finding out what happened.

Sorry people get scammed. Take responsibility for the choices you have made and stop looking to use ICE for revenge who are busy
catching criminals and terrorists and are not concerned with petty ' he left me ' issues.

Let us bring this from an emotional perspective into hard reality of the way immigration works.
Report it if you must and please stop being redundant in this forum, adjust your expectations of USCIS and understand their function.

No one has heard or ever will hear Victors side so we will never fully understand what really happened and this is beating a dead horse
and I am tired of the merry-go-round with the same old deportation rally.
There can be no objectivity without knowing both sides and everything is just speculation.
There truly is no comparison between Besanging and Idocares posting though both have suffered, I agree with Ogele on how different
the reaction from both has been.

Comparing Idocare’s posts with Bensangin’s is to do Bensangin a wrong in my view.Please read Bensangin’s posts:decent,objective,informative,even humorous without losing the important message.Do you honestly believe that Bensangin has suffered less pain than Idocare?Probably not.Idocare’s is so colored with personal anger,negativity,and calls for blood that it scares rather than impart wisdom.And how long has it been since this divorce? You really cannot give good advice to people from a podium of anger or hate. I believe most people on this journey sincerely want to learn the truth in order to succeed and not to be harassed and scared into ditching their own plans

If the Nigerian bashing continues I will take it up with Admin. Every thread is coming down to idocares fight for deportation issue and frankly
it has brought this very informative, supportive and educational light hearted forum down hill and is picking up speed.

It is not about you every single time Idocare and most of us are tired of being fraud spoonfed to the point of nausea in EVERY thread.
Could you please grace us with some board etiquette !
There are other message boards out there and yahoo groups with focus on fraud where you can constantly rally your deportation opinion but
as Destiny said this is an immigration board and not a deportation/fraud message board. At the very least keep in in the appropriate forum.
The point is you are pushing everyones limits here and enjoyment in this forum is not what it used to be.
We are all big girls and can handle ourselves just fine. Thank you.

Not trying to sound mean and offensive just tired of it.

I totally agree and this is the point I was attempting to make in my previous post.

My main concern is though she has the right to hate, and that possible disappointment can be related to the immigration process. Enough is Enough my husband and my future children will be Igbo, I myself take deep offence to someone continually bad mouthing his countrymen, because, their relationship was crap. Im am sure some appreciated it in 2005 when it was informative, but it is now 2008 and it is becomming harrassing. We are all grown here and know what all the possibilities are with long distance and international reationships (and we proceed), this is a forum for family based immigration.

I for one don't need to be tainted by the constant verbal abuse regarding any ethnic group let alone my husbands and children. Let someone come on here and constantly spout how horrible America is and that all American (or many) are deceptive, gold digging scammers and will do any thing to get an husband / wife. I don't think they would be tolerated.

If the Nigerian bashing continues I will take it up with Admin. Every thread is coming down to idocares fight for deportation issue and frankly
it has brought this very informative, supportive and educational light hearted forum down hill and is picking up speed.

It is not about you every single time Idocare and most of us are tired of being fraud spoonfed to the point of nausea in EVERY thread.
Could you please grace us with some board etiquette !
There are other message boards out there and yahoo groups with focus on fraud where you can constantly rally your deportation opinion but
as Destiny said this is an immigration board and not a deportation/fraud message board. At the very least keep in in the appropriate forum.
The point is you are pushing everyones limits here and enjoyment in this forum is not what it used to be.
We are all big girls and can handle ourselves just fine. Thank you.

Not trying to sound mean and offensive just tired of it.

OK first of all, Ogele, it's BESANGIN. Secondly, I have not missed the point of people feeling harrassed. You have missed the point that you don't have to read it or go to the posts that don't have information that you need. What I am getting from you all is that we should stay packaged up in one nice little thread and leave the others alone. Everyone here has a right to post and read where ever they want. We all have the same choices, but telling us to limit where we post is telling us because all that we have to say is not warm and cozy Keep It Movin' to your corner of the message boards. For me, I think NOT. Like I said, if something I said personally defames you or you leaves mentally and financially damaged then, call Judge Judy and sue me! Again thiswas Idocare's thread in the first place, so how did she jack it? Plus everything she posts is not regarding scamming and the such. I guess everyone is so focused on it that you don't see the other stuff. I would hate to see anyone on this board muzzled because we don't like what is said or we get tired of something they said. There are many threads here I don't even think about going to because what the hell does it got to do with me, or I may know nothing about what goes on there. I post, read, and laugh about what interests me, and what doesn't...... say it with me people.... KEEP IT MOVIN'!!!! At this point thats the only thing I am trying to convey is free speech, free post, and free choice to ignore like Omoba's easy button. (Work it, Girl!) Lastly, you ball of confident, intelligent, hunk of prideful African man you, I am impressed that you dig into the history of this country, but may a proud African American sister encourage you to read on our history too. For America's history is not an accurate depiction of what my African American history is. My history teaches me to be proud of knowing that it was because of the welts, blood, sweat and tears of my ancestors that this country is indeed great. Like your own Chinua Achebe wanted to leave a true depiction of your history that contradicted what the missionaries and post colonial historians would have your younger generations believing. The very reason he chose to pen Things Fall Apart. Anyway that is my soapbox lecture for today. Peace out people!:whistle:

I tell you what, you can contact Ewok, Geroge Lucas, or the whole Star Wars clan if that's what you feel you need to do. Whether I am here muzzled or not, for me life goes on, and my words will go on. The only thing you will successfully do is take away the opportunity for others who don't got it goin' on like you, to not know that these things happen, people go through it, they share, it and they survive it. When I went through it I docare was the only one at the time to have the guts to speak about her experience. Other than that I didn't have a place here to relate with the journey I then found myself on. SO if Ewok the forest owner wants to change the intent of the this website for posting only information related to successful visa journeys, then that is fine and that is his/her choice since they are the owner, and got it like that. As far as my analogy being ridiculous... your opinion, and you not going to sit here and tell me that you always analyze both sides of every story and every situation on every occassion. When it hits home objectivity goes out the window. None the less, you do what you feel you have to do. Threats don't phase me. But I am tired of going back and forth with all this so I'm done. But trust my sister, if I got something to post, anywhere and anyhow I'm going to do it. It may not be kibbles and bits for you, but someone will eat good! Now its time for me to use MY EASY BUTTON and end my posting to this NO ONE IS RIGHT THREAD!!!!

Touche...

In my opinion - it's not a matter of being "Touche", it simply needed to be said. Period.

Ogle,

I wanted to comment on your assessemt of compatibility. From what I read your susgested that a couple should be on the same level of education in order for a relationship to work. ( that's just one of your comments concerning compatibility )

There are many USC that meet Aliens and need co-sponsors due to not meeting the poverty guidelines. The alien fiance knew about that at the time they applied for the I-129k or married in their foreign land.

I know of many couples that don't match up as far as the education levels but have went on to thrive in a long relationship. Then again there have been some aliens that were well educated in their country but find themselves working for a security company or Mc Donalds one they arrive here due to the degree they got in their land isn't one that could transfer over once they arrive here, and many know that before they arrive.

Nigerians believe in education I already know that. I have read many stories on here where the Nigerian spouse has encouraged the USC to go to the university , then again on this forum I have read where the USC had much less education then their spouse, and some are still together. If you'd notice my signature date, I've been lurking around since 2004. I have read alot of people realities both good and bad. It takes desire from both the male and female to make a relationship last, Many aliens know all about their spouse before they come here or the USC goes there to Marry. If the realtionship was good enough then, and u truly love your spouse what could go so wrong to the point where you just want to walk away without going thru counseling and trying to make it work which takes time. As they say you truly don't know someone until you live with them.

Some USC live in their spouse country for a month or less and Marry them on the spot. They feel that they know them like a book thru all the e-mails and phone conversations, and u can't tell them that their man doesen't love them.

Do you really think that a relationship won't work unless your of the same education statis ? I believe it's variety that makes for a good connection. Even a person with only a high school education can be more intelligent then a person with a 4-year degree and vice versa.

Many USC go over seas as part of their PHD programs and find love. Many times the person they marry don't have a degree. But they make it work.


Zee I think that scams happen in just about every Country it's not limited to any part of the world, as I lurk around other visa chat boards I read stories about Phillipinos , Indians, Russians and more countrys that I never heard of doing the same things.

Ogle thanks for taking the time to show some concern for Jr.