I've read a lot of people's view of faith and how it insures success in marriage. I thought I'd share this passage that sums up an alternative theology for people's reading.

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http://www.rbc.org/bible_study/answers_to_...wers/30841.aspx


Isn't it a sign of deficient faith when a sick Christian isn't healed or a Christian isn't delivered from danger?

It would be a serious mistake to imply that deficient faith accounts for all instances in which a person does not receive healing or deliverance.

It's true that Scripture tells of people who were healed or delivered from danger because of their faith. Some examples are Gideon ( Judges 7:15-23 ); Naaman the Syrian ( 2 Kings 5:14-15 ); Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego ( Daniel 3:19-29 ); the centurion's servant ( Matthew 8:13 ); the woman with an issue of blood ( Matthew 9:20-22 ); the man with a withered hand ( Matthew 12:9-13 ); and Peter's deliverance from prison ( Acts 12:5-12 ). Even this partial list is impressive.

Clearly, faith in God may result in healing and deliverance. However, the Scriptures also show us just as clearly that there are times when a believer's suffering or sickness has nothing to do with a lack of faith.

When Job lost his family, wealth, and physical health, his friends "comforted" him with the message that his loss and suffering were due to his own moral failure (his lack of faith). But Job was confident in his integrity before God. God Himself had declared him perfect and upright ( Job 1:8 ). Later, God Himself denied the explanation that Job's "counselors" gave for his suffering ( Job 13:1-15 ). Even more importantly, God Himself denounced their words ( Job 42:7-8 ).

Job's faith wasn't the problem. In fact, Job's faith in God was so strong that he, without cursing or disrespect, defended his integrity to God and questioned Him about the injustice of his suffering. Yet, in the midst of his agony, he continued to trust:


Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him. He also shall be my salvation, for a hypocrite could not come before Him (Job 13:15-16).


For I know that my Redeemer lives, and He shall stand at last on the earth; and after my skin is destroyed, this I know, that in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another. How my heart yearns within me! (Job 19:25-27).

Job's faith was eventually rewarded and vindicated. But he wasn't spared the terrible suffering that allowed his faith to be tested and proven.

Even at a time when miracles often occurred, God allowed Stephen to be stoned ( Acts 7:59-60 ) and James to be beheaded. Although Acts 12 tells of Peter's supernatural deliverance from captivity in prison, Jesus had already prophesied that he would eventually die a martyr's death ( John 21:17-19 ), as (according to tradition) did all of the other disciples except John.

In 2 Corinthians 11:23-30 Paul eloquently described the suffering and trials from which he hadn't been delivered. He also suffered from a particular "thorn in the flesh" ( 2 Corinthians 12:7, 10 ) for which God had not provided a remedy. When Timothy suffered from a stomach ailment, Paul didn't exhort him to have greater faith. Instead he told him to take some wine as medicine ( 1 Timothy 5:23 ). There isn't the slightest hint in these passages that Paul's trials and Timothy's sickness were the product of unconfessed sin or deficient faith. In fact, rather than proclaiming that our faith in Christ should deliver us from the suffering and trials of this world, Paul extols the spiritual benefits of suffering.

We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance [produces] character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us (Romans 5:3-5).

James also made it clear that strong faith is no insurance against suffering:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything (James 1:2-4).

On the basis of Scripture, we can say that faith is always relevant to suffering. Our reaction to suffering -- whether in faith or in despair -- determines whether it will produce spiritual growth or despair. But because spiritual healing is more important to us than our physical circumstances, faith is not a barrier against suffering.

Whenever we are inclined to presume that the illness or suffering of another person is the result of that person's sin, we should recall the foolishness of Job's "counselors" in attempting to explain the mystery of God's will. Although faith won't always deliver us from tribulation, it will keep us conscious of God's promises and of the assurance that He will work everything out to good of His children ( Romans 8:28 ).



Dan Vander Lugt

I believe the suffering in the article was for the sake of identifying with Christ, for His name sake.

It is my opinion that when both partners in a marriage abide in God and obey His word that the marriage will work.
Nobody is perfect though and while learning about the word, God allows circumstances into our lives to work unfavorable things out of us and to work good virtues into us. We argue but we also communicate and learn to do better and resolve conflict. Sometimes we suffer during this.
But we propel forward.

A lot of times it is both or one partners lack of insight and lack of obedience to God that is the cause of a failed marriage.
God wants the institution of marriage to work for the stability of the family, community and church.
Suffering persecution for Christs sake is different than suffering in a marriage where one or both do not put God first.
If one does the right thing and the other doesn't then we are instructed to pray for him/her and remain loving and kind.
Not easily done without abiding in His power.
We are given a way out if adultery has been committed.
The Bible instructs us also that if the unbeliever does not wish to remain in the marriage then let him go.
If he wishes to remain then allow him to do that.

I do not believe God wants us to suffer permanently in our marriage but He wants us to surrender our will to Him for a beautiful union with
Him at the core center.
This can be a difficult balancing act with one unwilling partner.
If you are equally yoked spiritually it is easier as life brings enough problems of its own.
So the choice we make in picking our partner is up to us and we live with the consequences, be it good or bad.

For many Christian woman, asking a man are you a Christian and getting the desired answer is enough, however we are instructed to test the spirits. To watch the action is important.....what fruit is he producing ? Sooner or later the true colors will show IF you take enough time to get to know someone. They will trip up ! In word or deed. Then you have your answer. We can ignore the red flag and make excuses or say nope he wasn't the one and move on.
We can pray for the gift of discernment and seek wise counsel. Answers are often in the subtle things.
I have seen marriages turn around with sincere prayer, fasting and making God the Lord of everything in your life.
To make a long story short, no I don't believe it is God's will for anyone to suffer in the marriage but for a season it may happen for God to turn it around in the midst of unpleasant circumstances.....yes all things work for the best for those that love God.
And yes sometimes suffering is an avenue to bring it about.
Do we, generally speaking, at times suffer in our walk with God ? You bet. May God give us a mate to walk this path with in comfort , confidence
and harmony, as one.

Not in the least if both don't have that faith and the desire!!!

AMEN!
As always, Sister, your posts are ELOQUENT! You are a true gift to so many.

Southern Chic I remember reading some of your threads that were too funny! I am sorry things did not wok out with your husband,but I am sure you will be fine. A dose of cold reality never hurts in my opinion.


Good Luck

Well this was a long read, and some of the original post deviated off the original question, (although it was all valid). So I could comment on both things but I'll just respond to the original question instead.

My husband and I are both practicing Christians, but I do not believe that faith alone in Christ will insure a successful marriage. Marriage has to do with the uniting of two people as one. So its each persons attitude in the relationship that will help to insure the marriage. I do believe that having Christ as the center of the marriage helps to have a healthy Christian marriage but it does not ensure that it will be "successful". Otherwise things like divorce, and adultery would not be discussed as much in the bible. God is an all knowing God and knows that these things will happen. Just because I am a Christian doesn't mean that I am superhuman and not susceptible to sin and outside influences. Those influences have a way to affect my marriage just like any other. I get tempted just as any man. I don't think God tempts me, I think the devil does and God allows him. I have the choice to remain faithful in God or not in these cases. This does not mean that remaining faithful is easy just because I am Christian.

So since I am given a free will and a choice...I will make mistakes. No one really knows they key to a successful marriage, because each individual in their relationship is different. I think its a individual evaluation of ones self that needs to be done with their partner to get you on a good track for a healthy marriage. I also think that having God as the mediator and higher being of worship in your marriage is a positive one.

Omoba you make some great points. I Corinthians Chapter 7 comes to mind from your post.

The ultimate is if you honor your first marriage, which is to GOD, then he will take care of the rest. So the faith in GOD alone, will see you through. But if both are not on one accord, you could be working against the grain.

I don't think one thing can ensure a marriage. A marriage consists of so many different elements that trying to say that any one aspect of life will be able to ensure that it is successful.

Faith in God is as individual as the people who practice the religion. There are so many people who say that they believe in a religion but when you talk to them you realize that people interpret and act on what they feel is relevant/important to them.

What is important is mutual respect for your SOs faith. There are many interfaith marriages that work because both partners are willing to accept the others faith. In the same way, there are marriages between people who do not believe in God that are also successful.

Marriage is much more than what you believe.

Oh yes, there are interfaith marriages that work. Respect, commitment and love can flourish in any faith.
The variables are too numerous to mention that make a successful marriage.
I answered the OP from a strictly Christian perspective and added my opinion of the interpretation of the scriptures she quoted in regards
to marriage.

I believe if both believe in God and His greatness, there may be avenues for discourse not necessary a successful marriage

Believe in God and doing what the Bible teaches for both partners to have a successful marriage are two separate things.

I can believe that milk does a body good but if I don't put it in action and drink it, it won't. Showing respect and love, putting the other over our own
selfish desires are all on the road map given by God for a successful marriage.

So if we abide and welcome God's teachings in everything it will result in a good marriage. One must read to understand and apply it though.
Usually if things go wrong one or both have not applied the word, our road map and instruction book for life.

Just my opinion on a Christian marriage.

Wonderfully written! If both keep a faithfull commitment to GOD or your higher power first, you are guaranteed a rewarding, successful and committed marriage with obstacles that can be overcome.