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Theone
Thanx
Queen Jenn
QUOTE (Elohor @ Feb 13 2008, 07:23 PM) *
Marrying a Nigerian man is very risky for a non-nigerian, especially if you are an american. 99.9% of Nigeria men marry American wife for the green card, that is the way it is and nothing can change that. Nigerians will do anything to come to america, even if it to sleep with a dog.



99.9%??? Where did you get that figure? Has it been professionally researched? Is it published somewhere?
Never had myself referred to as a dog before . . . tongue.gif
Missy1
It’s amazing that a fellow country-man could make such a derogatory statement about his brethren. It could be right that marrying a Nigerian is skeptical and fearful but we must understand that marriage itself is an institution of uncertainty especially when it’s cross-cultural marriage.

Although many Nigerians desire to leave their dear country in search for a greener pastures but I believe they can never lick the shoes of their petitioner nor sleep with dog to get access to the boarders of the United States of America. Of course there are Nigerian that are scammers and wish to get the almighty Green Card just like many citizens of other countries that believe American is the only land of opportunity. So also there are genuine Nigerian searching for a “good wife “to marry. Some of the petitioners do not portray an exemplary character nor can they be counted among the league of good wives hence the marital problems.

We must understand that in every relationship there are ups and down but before you commit yourself to marrying either a Nigerian or a foreigner, you will have to work twice as hard compare to marrying someone from your own country.


This is about a month that I’m living in the United State and I have come to realize that our culture back home (Nigeria) is quite different from the culture here. It takes big patience, perseverance, understanding and love for any man from Africa to cope with their wife here in the United States of America. It’s like relocating to a new world that is different from what you are familiar with: The culture shock, environmental difference, the food, the people, life styles, mode of communication (no sign of respect unlike Nigeria), freedom and personal right to do whatever you wish etc.. All these differences could change your mentality and if possible your feelings about your new bride either positively or negatively. But for those that are in love with their fiancée even before they arrive the United State could even wax stronger when the heat of marriages arise but some beneficiaries including those from Nigeria have a pre-determined intention of what they want from the union. For this reason, every intended couples whether Nigerians or not should first research the motive/intention behind the union and spend quality time either on phone (recommended), emails or visitation knowing the personality behind the person they want to marry. This is very important for a successful and blissful marital relationship.


In conclusion, it’s imperative to note that every unsuccessful relationship with a Nigerian is not a function of his originality but his personality or the character/attitude of his petitioner.
Queen Jenn
QUOTE (Missy1 @ Feb 15 2008, 12:35 PM) *
It’s amazing that a fellow country-man could make such a derogatory statement about his brethren. It could be right that marrying a Nigerian is skeptical and fearful but we must understand that marriage itself is an institution of uncertainty especially when it’s cross-cultural marriage.

Although many Nigerians desire to leave their dear country in search for a greener pastures but I believe they can never lick the shoes of their petitioner nor sleep with dog to get access to the boarders of the United States of America. Of course there are Nigerian that are scammers and wish to get the almighty Green Card just like many citizens of other countries that believe American is the only land of opportunity. So also there are genuine Nigerian searching for a “good wife “to marry. Some of the petitioners do not portray an exemplary character nor can they be counted among the league of good wives hence the marital problems.

We must understand that in every relationship there are ups and down but before you commit yourself to marrying either a Nigerian or a foreigner, you will have to work twice as hard compare to marrying someone from your own country.


This is about a month that I’m living in the United State and I have come to realize that our culture back home (Nigeria) is quite different from the culture here. It takes big patience, perseverance, understanding and love for any man from Africa to cope with their wife here in the United States of America. It’s like relocating to a new world that is different from what you are familiar with: The culture shock, environmental difference, the food, the people, life styles, mode of communication (no sign of respect unlike Nigeria), freedom and personal right to do whatever you wish etc.. All these differences could change your mentality and if possible your feelings about your new bride either positively or negatively. But for those that are in love with their fiancée even before they arrive the United State could even wax stronger when the heat of marriages arise but some beneficiaries including those from Nigeria have a pre-determined intention of what they want from the union. For this reason, every intended couples whether Nigerians or not should first research the motive/intention behind the union and spend quality time either on phone (recommended), emails or visitation knowing the personality behind the person they want to marry. This is very important for a successful and blissful marital relationship.


In conclusion, it’s imperative to note that every unsuccessful relationship with a Nigerian is not a function of his originality but his personality or the character/attitude of his petitioner.



Thank you for this wonderful post!!!! I agree with much of what you say. I agree that having a cross-cultural marriage can make things more difficult. However, I truly believe that the attitudes and personalities of both the husband and wife have a greater effect on the success of the marriage. I know that things are difficult when living in a foreign country.

Both partners need to come into the marriage with the determination to work through the hard things together. And they need to try to not be selfish. Communication is a key factor in a successful marriage!!!
chinemeze
[quote name='Theone' date='Feb 13 2008, 07:18 PM' post='1581000']
"dont get me wrong i didn't say all nigerian men, i said 99.9%. I am talking about nigerian men becos i know them."[size="4"][/size]

I have tried and I have prayed but my patience and endurance could not stand to see this homophia continue. I am a Nigerian man and very proud to be so. You say you are wise, and you say that Nigerian men are dogs (99.9%), you say also that you know them very well. Now lets see, what made you get to know almost the entire population of Nigerian men? Maybe its somebody(you) mad.gif else who is a dog. people who say stuff like you, do that because they would do so if given the opportunity. By the way you write, i know that you were not born here. So how did you get your own green card? They gave it to you as a Goodwill Ambassador to the UN? whistling.gif

We are supposed to be here to support and help helpsmilie.gif each other positively. If you want to talk about any personal experiences, then go ahead and tell your story. Please do not lump all Nigerian men as dogs. Maybe you have family members who have told you they would sleep with dogs to come to America, then please be clear on that.

Enough is enough whistling.gif innocent.gif
Sylvia_n_Joseph
My husband to be is Nigerian. We met though his cousin, who is a USC living near me. Does he want to live here when we marry , yes. Is the reason to marry me so he can do that. In a way yes. He has tried several times to come here. The diversity visa, visitors visa, business visas. He tried because it is his dream to come here. Years ago a girlfriend moved to Germany and offered to bring him there but his heart is set on coming here.
That being said, we do love each other. If marrying meant living in Nigeria then we would. In fact our future plans involve spending significant amount of time there each year. Nigeria is a country of great physical beauty. If the country ever figures out how to become a more presentable place, it will have the prospects of a good tourist trade.
Yes there are Nigerians that plot and scheme to leave Nigeria to look for better places. Young men will marry woman older than their own parents. Nigerians will marry and profess undyling love for partners they have no attraction for to get out. But there are people that will do that even here in the states. They will lie to a partner to climb whatever ladder they wish. You have to examine a relationship before signing on the dotted line. But that is not the anerican way. We rush into it . We know we can always divorce and try again and again.
Just as we here in the US hear things about Nigerians and their ill intents in marrying there are rumors of American women there. I was asked if it is true that in a fight the woman always calls the police to remove the man and make him into a criminal. Each person must take personal responsibility to look out for themselves and to know what they are getting into.
Theone
Chinemeze, na u get ur mouth.
ebonyqueen
Theone...your post reaks of jealousy and ignorance. You say you know Nigerian men and 99.9% of them are dogs and are marrying only for a greencard? Wow, you really get around! You have been thru alot of men to know they are all dogs! Maybe you are one of those women my nigerian friends have told me about. One that will not give a fellow nigerian man the time of day unless he has money! One that sleeps around and uses men for what they can get from them instead of seeing them for their true character. One who won't even consider a man who does not have wealth or come from wealth. One who looks at outer appearances instead of inner beauty. One who is greedy, materialistic, selfish, and pathetic. Hmmm...does that sound familiar? Oh sorry...maybe I am generalizing that 99.9% of nigerian women are like that! whistling.gif

I feel sorry for you if 99.9% of the nigerian men you know that marry an american, are dogs! Because 99.9% of nigerian men I know are NOT dogs, nor did they marry for the greencard! Granted you probably know more nigerians than I do, but obviously you hang out "with the wrong crowd".

So in closing just let me say... about 69.9% of American men are dogs! So I guess us women are the ones "sleeping with a dog". yes.gif (Yes..I've done the research yes.gif wink.gif )

Theone...plz go away with your ridiculous comments. Stop hatin and start appreciatin!
ebonyqueen
QUOTE (chinemeze @ Feb 15 2008, 03:54 PM) *
I have tried and I have prayed but my patience and endurance could not stand to see this homophia continue. I am a Nigerian man and very proud to be so. You say you are wise, and you say that Nigerian men are dogs (99.9%), you say also that you know them very well. Now lets see, what made you get to know almost the entire population of Nigerian men? Maybe its somebody(you) mad.gif else who is a dog. people who say stuff like you, do that because they would do so if given the opportunity. By the way you write, i know that you were not born here. So how did you get your own green card? They gave it to you as a Goodwill Ambassador to the UN? whistling.gif

We are supposed to be here to support and help helpsmilie.gif each other positively. If you want to talk about any personal experiences, then go ahead and tell your story. Please do not lump all Nigerian men as dogs. Maybe you have family members who have told you they would sleep with dogs to come to America, then please be clear on that.

Enough is enough whistling.gif innocent.gif


Thank you ma brotha! (You must in the .1%..hahahaha) I hope more proud nigerian men stand up for their integrity. Maybe some of u need to rally your SO's to voice their opinions too!!!
Theone
ebonyqueen,

Poor you! Why is the truth so painful to hear? biggrin.gif . You have the right to say whatever you want, so do I. Catch ya.
ebonyqueen
QUOTE (Theone @ Feb 16 2008, 08:30 PM) *
ebonyqueen,

Poor you! Why is the truth so painful to hear? biggrin.gif . You have the right to say whatever you want, so do I. Catch ya.



Do I seem in pain? no0pb.gif I think you are hilarious! laughing.gif Truth is in the eye of the beholder! yes.gif
Theone
Like I said, poor you! crying.gif Time will tell. Best of luck, you will need it. biggrin.gif
ebonyqueen
QUOTE (Theone @ Feb 16 2008, 09:20 PM) *
Like I said, poor you! crying.gif Time will tell. Best of luck, you will need it. biggrin.gif



Yea...poor poor pitiful me... biggrin.gif Oh ye of little faith! no0pb.gif Thank you so much for your heartfelt good wishes devil.gif I'm sure I'll remember your nonsense when I'm basking in the glory of my wonderful, sincere, loving, strong, proud Nigerian husband who posesses the integrity and godliness that all of your friends (99.9%) obviously don't have. Seems the green-eyed monster is rearing his ugly face. Didnt anyone ever tell you "god don't like ugly"? no0pb.gif

Peace, Love and Happiness
AMEN
apk
QUOTE (D&N @ Dec 17 2007, 12:34 AM) *
I just want to comment, and say - these things happen right here. I never saw our situation as being any more risky than meeting, loving, and marrying someone from right here at home. The advice i read is good, and the risks that you actually never get out of a marriage what you put in are the same no matter where the person you love and marry is from.


Thank you for this comment. I also feel the same about relationships right here in this country. Sometimes I think you get to know someone a lot better after doing all of the paperwork and dealing with the seperation.
Theone
Ebonyqueen,

I guess you have never heard this saying, "speak the truth and the truth should set you free" headbonk.gif

QUOTE (ebonyqueen @ Feb 16 2008, 10:30 PM) *
QUOTE (Theone @ Feb 16 2008, 09:20 PM) *
Like I said, poor you! crying.gif Time will tell. Best of luck, you will need it. biggrin.gif



Yea...poor poor pitiful me... biggrin.gif Oh ye of little faith! no0pb.gif Thank you so much for your heartfelt good wishes devil.gif I'm sure I'll remember your nonsense when I'm basking in the glory of my wonderful, sincere, loving, strong, proud Nigerian husband who posesses the integrity and godliness that all of your friends (99.9%) obviously don't have. Seems the green-eyed monster is rearing his ugly face. Didnt anyone ever tell you "god don't like ugly"? no0pb.gif

Peace, Love and Happiness
AMEN
LovinLiberia
QUOTE (ebonyqueen @ Feb 16 2008, 07:10 PM) *
Theone...your post reaks of jealousy and ignorance. You say you know Nigerian men and 99.9% of them are dogs and are marrying only for a greencard? Wow, you really get around! You have been thru alot of men to know they are all dogs! Maybe you are one of those women my nigerian friends have told me about. One that will not give a fellow nigerian man the time of day unless he has money! One that sleeps around and uses men for what they can get from them instead of seeing them for their true character. One who won't even consider a man who does not have wealth or come from wealth. One who looks at outer appearances instead of inner beauty. One who is greedy, materialistic, selfish, and pathetic. Hmmm...does that sound familiar? Oh sorry...maybe I am generalizing that 99.9% of nigerian women are like that! whistling.gif

I feel sorry for you if 99.9% of the nigerian men you know that marry an american, are dogs! Because 99.9% of nigerian men I know are NOT dogs, nor did they marry for the greencard! Granted you probably know more nigerians than I do, but obviously you hang out "with the wrong crowd".

So in closing just let me say... about 69.9% of American men are dogs! So I guess us women are the ones "sleeping with a dog". yes.gif (Yes..I've done the research yes.gif wink.gif )

Theone...plz go away with your ridiculous comments. Stop hatin and start appreciatin!



Whew, great comeback! good.gif good.gif

QUOTE (ebonyqueen @ Feb 16 2008, 07:28 PM) *
QUOTE (chinemeze @ Feb 15 2008, 03:54 PM) *
I have tried and I have prayed but my patience and endurance could not stand to see this homophia continue. I am a Nigerian man and very proud to be so. You say you are wise, and you say that Nigerian men are dogs (99.9%), you say also that you know them very well. Now lets see, what made you get to know almost the entire population of Nigerian men? Maybe its somebody(you) mad.gif else who is a dog. people who say stuff like you, do that because they would do so if given the opportunity. By the way you write, i know that you were not born here. So how did you get your own green card? They gave it to you as a Goodwill Ambassador to the UN? whistling.gif

We are supposed to be here to support and help helpsmilie.gif each other positively. If you want to talk about any personal experiences, then go ahead and tell your story. Please do not lump all Nigerian men as dogs. Maybe you have family members who have told you they would sleep with dogs to come to America, then please be clear on that.

Enough is enough whistling.gif innocent.gif


Thank you ma brotha! (You must in the .1%..hahahaha) I hope more proud nigerian men stand up for their integrity. Maybe some of u need to rally your SO's to voice their opinions too!!!


I, too, felt proud for Nigerian men after I saw him defend his brothers. Thank you for daring to give your side of the story for your own people.
Queen Jenn
QUOTE (LovinLiberia @ Feb 17 2008, 07:55 AM) *
I, too, felt proud for Nigerian men after I saw him defend his brothers. Thank you for daring to give your side of the story for your own people.



good.gif good.gif good.gif
Omoba
good.gif good.gif good.gif good.gif good.gif
idocare
Theone,


I would like to Thank-you for sharing your thoughts, please continue to post how you feel, it's funny that a certain group of people will come and attempt to attack you, a women from Africa who has a Nigerian husband. Don't they realize that it's you that have dated Nigerians and it's you that lived in that country around Nigerian men.

Oh, but look who's attacking you, it's people that would side with a Nigerian man for attacking a nigerian women, and these same people don't really know African men as well as you do, again they demonstrate there level of intelligence.

Theone, don't worry about such people, for they know not what they talk about.
boo boo
QUOTE (idocare @ Feb 17 2008, 05:16 PM) *
Theone,


I would like to Thank-you for sharing your thoughts, please continue to post how you feel, it's funny that a certain group of people will come and attempt to attack you, a women from Africa who has a Nigerian husband. Don't they realize that it's you that have dated Nigerians and it's you that lived in that country around Nigerian men.

Oh, but look who's attacking you, it's people that would side with a Nigerian man for attacking a nigerian women, and these same people don't really know African men as well as you do, again they demonstrate there level of intelligence.

Theone, don't worry about such people, for they know not what they talk about.



Do you realize how ignornant you sound?? I hope that one day you seek the wisdom and knowledge that you lack? Stop bashing Nigerians and Africans...it is tasteless. Noone has never ever said anything negative about nigerian women. You also sound that you are disrespecting Theone, I am sure that she has nigerian males in her family, so why would she disrespect her own people???? I do not understand why she would belittle anyone from Nigeria!
LovinLiberia
Idocare,

Just because she's a Nigerian living and dating among Nigerian men DOES NOT make her right. Just because we are in the USA means we know the ways of 99.9% American men? She may be an African woman, but she DOES NOT know them all.
ebonyqueen
idocare...theone...May I interest either of you in a glass of HATORADE?!!!! It seems to be a very popular beverage these days! CHEERS everyone! Bottoms up!
LovinLiberia
Do you offer any ANTI-HATORADE? If so, I'll take a glass of that on the rocks, please?
UNO...
QUOTE (LovinLiberia @ Feb 17 2008, 06:32 PM) *
Do you offer any ANTI-HATORADE? If so, I'll take a glass of that on the rocks, please?



I'll have mine "shaken, not stirred" innocent.gif
ebonyqueen
lemon or lime?
UNO...
QUOTE (ebonyqueen @ Feb 17 2008, 06:42 PM) *
lemon or lime?



lime, with a hint of mint laughing.gif
ose_n_me
yeah...uhhh..Can I get a shot, make it a double...of that ANTI-hatorade, and a Corona with lime for a chaser please!
LovinLiberia
at this moment, any flavor will do!
Omoba
Theone already apologized for the derogatory comments she made earlier about Nigerian men and soon will catch on
what is happening here and then hopefully make a wise decision as to what is going on here.

I take some hot herbal tea please ! Warm and calming smile.gif
charles!
oooo drama! eb0dfafc.gif
idocare
I'm thinking she just threw a number out there but didn't mean that exact percentage. Picky Picky Picky bunch.

Boo Boo please read contents of post so when you post your post will make sense.
boo boo
please practice what you preach...ok?????
idocare
actually I do all the time.
boo boo
I am not going to argue, but just know that I disagree with you...you have said many ridiculous things (150% of the time)......my husband told me that I should let you be...it is useless talking to you. Good night and sweet dreams!!!!
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