Looking for divorce after mistreatment and a K1 visa

[Marian2 0]

Good day to everybody!

 

Thank you so much for taking some time to read this post and help me out. I will appreciate it so much. I will make a good contextualization, so you may understand better

 

I am in a crazy situation and I would like to ask for advise.  On December 2015 I traveled to United States with a K1 Visa. I got married with my fiancé one day after my 90 day period be done, however, 15 days later I came back to my country.

 

The reason why I decided to come back to my country was not good at all. When I was in the United States I was victim of many kind of abuse that I even do not want to remember: emotional abuse (my fiancé called me names all the time, sometimes was 'playing' like he would punch me, I had to write down what I was doing each hour and I could not move out of the house because people could 'kidnap me'); financial abuse (I did not have money and he did not provide an allowance to me); sexual abuse (I even could not do control birth and as result of that I got pregnant). I could not communicate with people: I had an old phone that barely worked to chat with my family, I did not want to tell them what was going on to do not make them feel bad, anyways they could not do nothing for me. My fiancé removed the land line and set passwords in all his devices with the objective of not allowing me make use of them. For me was forbidden talking to people outside, because if I do was because I was thinking on being unfaithful.

 

My fiancé used to humiliate me buying me a ticket to come back to my country. He did it several times. But one day I could take that ticket. My fiancé left me in the house alone, he did not know that in secret I was going to a Christian Church, the Pastor of that Church helped me out to get in the airport. I escaped to my home. Once in home, I discovered I was pregnant, it was so devastating to me. I talked to my fiancé again, I was needing his economical support since I was alone, with no job and really sick.

 

He took it as an opportunity to keep his emotional abuse. Even he visited me and pushed me against a wall, he knew I was pregnant back then. I started to fell in depression and because that I lost the baby. However, I was not feeling good at all, my spirit was broken and I stayed some time with my 'husband' in long distance relationship. He wanted to control me in the distance, and he set on my phone applications to control what I was having in there, also an application to see in real time what I was doing, was pretending to install cameras in my house to see what I was doing, and of course, closed my social accounts and took the passwords of each account I had. 

 

I got tired of it how was logic, and decide to break up with him and move on with my life. However here is my big issue, ¿how to divorce him? He is pretty much making fun of me because he says I do not have a Visa to come in to United States and I do not have money neither, which is true. But I want to get divorce, and I will for the right reasons: he was giving me a cruel treatment. 

 

I documented some of this mistreatment when I was on United States. However my fiancé deleted all of them when he catch it. I have documented some of the stuff he said to me when I get back... I have a very long list of conversations, videos and voice recordings to support what I say -I did not record him, the program he installed to spy on me did it, I only discovered it-.

 

I want to divorce him for his mistreatment for one single reason: if his first wife would talk to me about this, I never would have fell on this scam. Obviously I would not had to live all what I did and dealing with the loss of my baby. I do not want any other women experience all the soul pain I felt. I do not want to be coward anymore, I was enough already by putting up in silence with his mistreatment and acting like losing my baby did not break my heart.

 

Please guys, if any of you has a good recommendation of what I should do and which are my chances to be successful with this, I will listen with the mind open. I am not looking for Visa benefits -I do not want to ever go back to States, at least t has to be to a court- or money arrangements neither, I just want justice, I want people recognize that I never have been crazy, that I had reasons to leave and stay away from the 'gentleman' that people from outside see on my 'husband'.

 

My punctual questions are, can I request divorce for cruel treatment even if I only can prove the mistreatment when I arrived back to my country? And second, how could I initiate the process when I am overseas with no permission to come in to United States and no idea about how to get a lawyer that does not charge so much?

 

By the way, the mistreatment started once I arrived to United States and continued after getting back.

 

Thank you so much for Reading. I will appreciate your help.

 

[aleful 1,905]

Spoiler

 

get a lawyer in your country and divorce him from there, you can divorce him for a number of reasons, the lawyer will advise you. you don't need to come to the US to get a divorce, file a divorce from your country

 

so sorry you went through this

[Jenilyn and Awal 22]

You don't need a reason for divorce here it's no fault laws. 

[Marian2 0]

Thank you so much aleful and Jenilyn for your answers, I do appreciate it. However I want to divorce under the specific reason of cruelty, is that possible if I get a lawyer here?

[Jenilyn and Awal 22]

1 minute ago, Marian2 said:

Thank you so much aleful and Jenilyn for your answers, I do appreciate it. However I want to divorce under the specific reason of cruelty, is that possible if I get a lawyer here?

I think you can state your reasons but you need to prove them otherwise it's just your word against his ? 

[Marian2 0]

2 hours ago, Jenilyn and Awal said:

I think you can state your reasons but you need to prove them otherwise it's just your word against his ? 

Thank you for your answer. In reality I do not know if I have enough documentation to prove this. I have the histories of conversations where he call me names and use abusive language. The record of a phone call and a video. Files of what I was doing per hour during more than three months and the videos of what I was doing because I had to carry up a camera...

 

The messages I exchanged with a women rights advocate when I was in United States and some diaries but are not from all these years, just from some months. I have screenshots, even one where he advise to get  the abortion when I was pregnant of him; and if is possible to access to his credit card statement, there we could find the payment for the tickets he used to buy me to humiliate me and also a copy of a receipt from some dating sites he paid for. Ahh and of course, a chat conversation with a woman from other country with who he was pretending to establish a relationship, I have a copy of his Skype history calls to that country. What do you think?

 

 

Edited July 8, 2017 by Marian2

[Jenilyn and Awal 22]

3 minutes ago, Marian2 said:

Thank you for your answer. In reality I do not know if I have enough documentation to prove this. I have the histories of conversations where he call me names and use abusive language. The record of a phone call and a video.

 

The messages I exchanged with a women rights advocate when I was in United States and some diaries but are not from all these years, just from some months. I have screenshots, even one where he advise to get  the abortion when I was pregnant of him; and if is possible to access to his credit card statement, there we could find the payment for the tickets he used to buy me to humiliate me and also a copy of a receipt from some dating sites he paid for. Ahh and of course, a chat conversation with a woman from other country with who he was pretending to establish a relationship, I have a copy of his Skype history calls to that country. What do you think?

 

 

 

4 minutes ago, Marian2 said:

Thank you for your answer. In reality I do not know if I have enough documentation to prove this. I have the histories of conversations where he call me names and use abusive language. The record of a phone call and a video.

 

The messages I exchanged with a women rights advocate when I was in United States and some diaries but are not from all these years, just from some months. I have screenshots, even one where he advise to get  the abortion when I was pregnant of him; and if is possible to access to his credit card statement, there we could find the payment for the tickets he used to buy me to humiliate me and also a copy of a receipt from some dating sites he paid for. Ahh and of course, a chat conversation with a woman from other country with who he was pretending to establish a relationship, I have a copy of his Skype history calls to that country. What do you think?

 

 

Yes all combined may give grounds  personally I would walk away and never look back, be the better human, when I married a man who had n ex I never believe what she said anyway. He was a good man I was lucky to have found him but my ex was awful but him and current wife are match made in heaven. It just tears your soul to keep him in memory to haunt you. Good luck and I pray you find your peace.

[Diane and Chris 651]

Divorce and move on. Don't waste your time on this controlling "man" anymore. 

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

 You would need to contact a lawyer in OK  to see if cruelty is a reason for divorce.  Many states only allow people to  get divorced in what is called no fault.  I sense you are trying to build a VAWA case.   I am not sure if you can even do that from out of the country.   If this is what you are trying post in the VAWA thread and Sanjay will tell you if you can .  Otherwise you need to move past this. The more you concentrate on it the more it destroys you and does nothing to him.  The time to take action would have been while you were here by filing police reports so there would be public records of all this which would have warned off his next victim.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

You have no visa to come here so you would have to divorce in your country and if you can based on abuse/cruelty depends on the law
in your country so you need to research the divorce law there or consult an attorney.

Here it is no fault law so nobody is going to "punish" him for the abuse with the divorce.
You won't see a dime from him either so divorce and let it go.
You having mustered up the courage to finally walk away is enough and he can not be punished for it as much as you would

like him to be. If he was physically abusive then the chance you had while here to file a police report has long gone.
You can't go back in time to change that.
It is not your responsibility to warn other women somehow through a divorce that he is abusive, each woman will have to figure that out

for herself that dates / marries him. You can not change that with a divorce based on abuse.
You can try to have your lawyer in your country include in the final divorce decree that you divorced due to abuse.
I don't know what kind of divorce laws you have in your country.
 

[Sandra G. 5,016]

On 7/7/2017 at 9:32 PM, Marian2 said:

Good day to everybody!

 

Thank you so much for taking some time to read this post and help me out. I will appreciate it so much. I will make a good contextualization, so you may understand better

 

I am in a crazy situation and I would like to ask for advise.  On December 2015 I traveled to United States with a K1 Visa. I got married with my fiancé one day after my 90 day period be done, however, 15 days later I came back to my country.

 

The reason why I decided to come back to my country was not good at all. When I was in the United States I was victim of many kind of abuse that I even do not want to remember: emotional abuse (my fiancé called me names all the time, sometimes was 'playing' like he would punch me, I had to write down what I was doing each hour and I could not move out of the house because people could 'kidnap me'); financial abuse (I did not have money and he did not provide an allowance to me); sexual abuse (I even could not do control birth and as result of that I got pregnant). I could not communicate with people: I had an old phone that barely worked to chat with my family, I did not want to tell them what was going on to do not make them feel bad, anyways they could not do nothing for me. My fiancé removed the land line and set passwords in all his devices with the objective of not allowing me make use of them. For me was forbidden talking to people outside, because if I do was because I was thinking on being unfaithful.

 

My fiancé used to humiliate me buying me a ticket to come back to my country. He did it several times. But one day I could take that ticket. My fiancé left me in the house alone, he did not know that in secret I was going to a Christian Church, the Pastor of that Church helped me out to get in the airport. I escaped to my home. Once in home, I discovered I was pregnant, it was so devastating to me. I talked to my fiancé again, I was needing his economical support since I was alone, with no job and really sick.

 

He took it as an opportunity to keep his emotional abuse. Even he visited me and pushed me against a wall, he knew I was pregnant back then. I started to fell in depression and because that I lost the baby. However, I was not feeling good at all, my spirit was broken and I stayed some time with my 'husband' in long distance relationship. He wanted to control me in the distance, and he set on my phone applications to control what I was having in there, also an application to see in real time what I was doing, was pretending to install cameras in my house to see what I was doing, and of course, closed my social accounts and took the passwords of each account I had. 

 

I got tired of it how was logic, and decide to break up with him and move on with my life. However here is my big issue, ¿how to divorce him? He is pretty much making fun of me because he says I do not have a Visa to come in to United States and I do not have money neither, which is true. But I want to get divorce, and I will for the right reasons: he was giving me a cruel treatment. 

 

I documented some of this mistreatment when I was on United States. However my fiancé deleted all of them when he catch it. I have documented some of the stuff he said to me when I get back... I have a very long list of conversations, videos and voice recordings to support what I say -I did not record him, the program he installed to spy on me did it, I only discovered it-.

 

I want to divorce him for his mistreatment for one single reason: if his first wife would talk to me about this, I never would have fell on this scam. Obviously I would not had to live all what I did and dealing with the loss of my baby. I do not want any other women experience all the soul pain I felt. I do not want to be coward anymore, I was enough already by putting up in silence with his mistreatment and acting like losing my baby did not break my heart.

 

Please guys, if any of you has a good recommendation of what I should do and which are my chances to be successful with this, I will listen with the mind open. I am not looking for Visa benefits -I do not want to ever go back to States, at least t has to be to a court- or money arrangements neither, I just want justice, I want people recognize that I never have been crazy, that I had reasons to leave and stay away from the 'gentleman' that people from outside see on my 'husband'.

 

My punctual questions are, can I request divorce for cruel treatment even if I only can prove the mistreatment when I arrived back to my country? And second, how could I initiate the process when I am overseas with no permission to come in to United States and no idea about how to get a lawyer that does not charge so much?

 

By the way, the mistreatment started once I arrived to United States and continued after getting back.

 

Thank you so much for Reading. I will appreciate your help.

 

 

You didn't mention if you want to return to the US, but you qualify for Vawa. The VAWA is a law that allows victims of domestic violence to receive a green card.If you want to know about it then join the thread VAWA part 8 and read the thread Vawa part 5 to 8. To file VAWA you don't ned to have a divorce based on extreme cruelty.

 

If you want just to divorce him then check with the Family Court in your Country how to serve him the papers in the U.S. 

[Marian2 0]

On 8 de julio de 2017 at 9:06 PM, sandranj said:

You didn't mention if you want to return to the US, but you qualify for Vawa. The VAWA is a law that allows victims of domestic violence to receive a green card.If you want to know about it then join the thread VAWA part 8 and read the thread Vawa part 5 to 8. To file VAWA you don't ned to have a divorce based on extreme cruelty.

 

If you want just to divorce him then check with the Family Court in your Country how to serve him the papers in the U.S. 

Thank you so much for your answer Sandra. I appreciate it. I listened about VAWA, however I never did anything related to that because is 'too hard to prove emotional abuse', also because I am outside from United States and I thought I could not do anything about. So I do not know which are my possibilities to do it successfully...What could I do to apply for VAWA? 

 

 

[Jenilyn and Awal 22]

I think you can apply online, look up the contact information for international and call? I will see what I can find by google it. 

[Jenilyn and Awal 22]

[Sandra G. 5,016]

16 minutes ago, Marian2 said:

Thank you so much for your answer Sandra. I appreciate it. I listened about VAWA, however I never did anything related to that because is 'too hard to prove emotional abuse', also because I am outside from United States and I thought I could not do anything about. So I do not know which are my possibilities to do it successfully...What could I do to apply for VAWA? 

 

 

Yes you  can apply for vawa abroad.  70% of my cases are regarding mental abuse. You  need to attend therapy  (7 sessions)and have a psychological  evaluation  done,if it's not in English the  evaluation  mutual be translated to English.  

 

Gather affidavits from family and friends  in the  US and in your  country. I had a case approved two months ago, she lives in the  Philippines, she should be here within 60days.