dna Unconfirmed Son of U.S. citizen

[evoria 19]

Prior to coming to the US a girl accused my Husband of being her son's father.  We were already married, I was in the US.  My husband has since become a US citizen and the girl 3 years ago dropped the child off at my mother-in-laws and she has never been heard from again.  My sister-in-law has been raising him, however she is not well.  If something happens to her he will be in the street or in a orphanage.      I want to bring him to the US.  I am not sure how to proceed.  We can say he is my husband's son however I am sure they will request a DNA because he was born after or no soon after we were married.  If the DNA test proves he is not then there is no way to get him here because he is not family. So question, should my husband get a custody document and we say son and pray they will not request a DNA, or can someone offer a better solution? 

[aleful 1,905]

DNA first,

 

you must confirm that he is the father

 

immigration will want proof that he is the father

 

 

[Boiler 43,429]

Perhaps the first thing to mention s the VJ ToS, my Bible, it should be yours.

 

Find out if the child is his, if the child is there are options. Your consulate in particular has heard it all so they are going to want to see the evidence. 

[evoria 19]

What is the best way to do the DNA test.  Should I use the center set up for regular immigration tests?  My concern is if it his not his, where does that leave the child?  It just seems very sad, especially God forbid, something happens to my sister-in-law.

[Boiler 43,429]

I do not know if your SIL has children but the situation would be identical if she does. 

[NDB052714 122]

8 minutes ago, evoria said:

What is the best way to do the DNA test.  Should I use the center set up for regular immigration tests?  My concern is if it his not his, where does that leave the child?  It just seems very sad, especially God forbid, something happens to my sister-in-law.

Bless you! If it turns out the child is not his, is adoption a possibility? How old is the child?

[evoria 19]

3 minutes ago, NDB052714 said:

Bless you! If it turns out the child is not his, is adoption a possibility? How old is the child?

That would be the next thing.  Adopting from a country like Ghana is complicated add to the fact that no one knows where the mother is.  It is a mess. He is only 5.  I have had to bury a lot of feelings and forgive a lot in this situation.  The bottom line is, none if this is the child's fault.  I wish the girl had just said - "I give him to you take him".  My husband would have signed whatever and the boy would have had options.  As it stands the boy is in limbo.  Now my biggest fear is he is not my husbands child and we will be out of options for him. 

[Boiler 43,429]

I have no idea what the adoption process is in Ghana, your questions seem more focussed on US Immigration.

 

If he had been given the child can not see how that would have changed things.

[jefraylee 18]

The best answer to your situation is DNA, you guys must first do  the DNA to find out if the child is really his or not? If it end up the child is not his then you talk to a good lawyer who knows much about immigration. Adoption will be another option but the whole process is very difficult, but one step first the DNA. 

 

I did my DNA at the US Embassy in Ghana in May 2017 and the DNA is out saying am the biological father so am still waiting for the embassy to contact me.. But case is different from yours....

[evoria 19]

35 minutes ago, jefraylee said:

The best answer to your situation is DNA, you guys must first do  the DNA to find out if the child is really his or not? If it end up the child is not his then you talk to a good lawyer who knows much about immigration. Adoption will be another option but the whole process is very difficult, but one step first the DNA. 

 

I did my DNA at the US Embassy in Ghana in May 2017 and the DNA is out saying am the biological father so am still waiting for the embassy to contact me.. But case is different from yours....

Thank you.  We will work on getting DNA.  Not sure if you have the information but can you provide the location in Ghana where the boy can be taken or direct me to a proper website?  

 

[evoria 19]

43 minutes ago, Boiler said:

I have no idea what the adoption process is in Ghana, your questions seem more focussed on US Immigration.

 

If he had been given the child can not see how that would have changed things.

I was responding to NDB052714 statement asking if adoption was an option.  My original question was focused on the US immigration process.  We will work on getting a DNA test and move on from there.  As agreed on by jefraylee adoption is difficult but is another option if DNA is not positive but that is another bridge, we will cross them 1 by 1.  Thanks for all the help. 

[JFH 12,189]

Is this really on the best interests of the child? Bringing him to a foreign country to live with two complete strangers when he has formed a bond with your sister-in-law (and she presumably with him)? Adoption is a very complex issue. I have been a foster parent in the past and also considered adopting a child. Removing a child from the familiar surroundings should only be done when there is no other option. I suggest you fully research the effect of adopting a child of this age and prepare yourself for the struggles you will have. He won't just step off a plane and into your waiting arms with a smile on his face. He is likely to feel great resentment at being wrenched from his home. There are some great books on the subject - I urge you to read them. If you go ahead with this you have a very tough road ahead. I attended some very good adoption seminars - see if you can find some in your area. 

Edited July 6, 2017 by JFH

[DILAW 94]

1 hour ago, evoria said:

Prior to coming to the US a girl accused my Husband of being her son's father.  We were already married, I was in the US.  My husband has since become a US citizen and the girl 3 years ago dropped the child off at my mother-in-laws and she has never been heard from again.  My sister-in-law has been raising him, however she is not well.  If something happens to her he will be in the street or in a orphanage.      I want to bring him to the US.  I am not sure how to proceed.  We can say he is my husband's son however I am sure they will request a DNA because he was born after or no soon after we were married.  If the DNA test proves he is not then there is no way to get him here because he is not family. So question, should my husband get a custody document and we say son and pray they will not request a DNA, or can someone offer a better solution? 

If the child was born soon after you got married, then your spouse cheated on you, unless you knew him less than 9 months before getting married.  I am not sure why you say "I pray they don't request a DNA test."  You should get a DNA test to make sure if the child is his or not.  If the child is not his, you need a lawyer.  I think the child needs his real parents.  If thats your spouse then good, but if not then you must find his real parent

[jefraylee 18]

9 minutes ago, evoria said:

Thank you.  We will work on getting DNA.  Not sure if you have the information but can you provide the location in Ghana where the boy can be taken or direct me to a proper website?  

 

On the receipt of my DNA it was HOLY TRINITY CLINIC address on it, But you can use the AABB accredited centers for the DNA process though you guys are not recommended by the Embassy to do it, but I believe they have partnership with the HOLY TRINITY CLINIC so the best is to jump on the phone and talk to the clinic for better information.

[evoria 19]

6 minutes ago, JFH said:

Is this really on the best interests of the child? Bringing him to a foreign country to live with two complete strangers when he has formed a bond with your sister-in-law (and she presumably with him)? Adoption is a very complex issue. I have been a foster parent in the past and also considered adopting a child. Removing a child from the familiar surroundings should only be done when there is no other option. I suggest you fully research the effect of adopting a child of this age and prepare yourself for the struggles you will have. He won't just step off a plane and into your waiting arms with a smile on his face. He is likely to feel great resentment at being wrenched from his home. There are some great books on the subject - I urge you to read them. If you go ahead with this you have a very tough road ahead. I attended some very good adoption seminars - see if you can find some in your area. 

My sister-in-law is older and it is getting too much for her.  God forbid something happens to her and we will be pulling our hair out trying to find somewhere for the child.  If it is my husbands child, and even if he stays in Ghana he would at least we would be able to get him to the US if there is no one else there to take care of him.