Husband Met Girl While in Dubai for Interview

[mdnl 8]

My husband has an appointment in UAE for his spousal visa. He is from Iran. While in Dubai, he sent me a picture of him with another Iranian guy he met and there was one German girl in picture he had not told me. When I asked who he was, he got very defensive then he went on and on attack me about how I live my life: don't work (I work part time), don't go out, no hobby. I just asked simple questions about where he was, what he did, what's his plan for the day, who she was and he got really defensive and was angry at me.

 

Usually we talked about the same time everyday when he was back home. Since in Dubai, he has no fixed schedule so I never knew what he was doing. Communication is not easy. WhatsApp voice is blocked, Skype video is blocked (but we have not tried it yet, I just read it). I told him to use Hangouts, it worked but not so good quality but worked. I asked his UAE number so I could call, phone number was not found so I told him to try to call my US number from Skype. He accused me of being controlling. He didn't like me asking questions where he was about. He said I was spying on me.

 

I felt wow... Something wrong? Why so defensive and private now?

 

I told him not to come to interview and I want a divorce. Am I wrong and overreact or he was wrong for hanging out with a very young beautiful German girl he met in hostel? He told me she will go together with him tomorrow from Dubai to Abu Dhabi. 

 

I feel he is being so disrespectful to me.

 

What do you think?

[Georgia16 2,858]

I'm sorry to hear your marriage isn't going that well

 

No one in here can tell you if it's okay or not. Every couple have different things they are okay with and some not.

 

You will find people who would not be comfortable with their partner doing that and others who is fine with it.

 

The most important question is how do YOU feel? Are you okay with it? Do you want to be with your husband? Do you trust your husband?

 

Not questions you should answer here but ask yourself and figure out what to do. 

[Ben&Zian 4,397]

Obviously to you this is completely out of character for him. Has such an instance happened before during the marriage or when you ask him questions about things?

 

As to what is happening between him and this other female, that is purely speculation; but is confusing and a bit suspicious from a third party view since he got so defensive and even degraded you and said this woman is going to travel with him...

 

The choice is only yours to make. 

Edited May 24, 2017 by Ben&Zian

[millefleur 5,035]

From what I can see, meeting and hanging out with a German girl is fine if that would've been the only thing. Blocking you, attacking you and the sudden change in his behavior seem much more suspicious to me. Whether or not it is because this German girl is kind of immaterial at this point, but having someone treat you badly and a sudden change in character like this is indeed suspicious to me.

 

I'm sorry your in this situation. I feel that if he really cared he'd be constructively trying to make the relationship work instead of getting defensive and angry. So, did he go to the interview yet or not? Do you suspect visa fraud or merely just that your relationship is breaking down?

[Jojo92122 1,924]

No one can tell you what is going on since we're not there with him, and we don't know him like you do.

 

Here is my point of view.  Unless it was a business trip, there is NO WAY i would take a pleasure trip with a woman that my wife/fiancee did not know.  That's stupid and disrespectful.

 

Here is something else to consider.  Many fake marriage green card scammers start acting differently when they think they are in the clear and have the magic ticket to the US.  This is when they screw themselves by revealing their true motives before getting a green card in hand.

 

If he is disrespectful to you, you should run.  That is what I would tell my daughter.

[Georgia16 2,858]

3 minutes ago, Jojo92122 said:

No one can tell you what is going on since we're not there with him, and we don't know him like you do.

 

Here is my point of view.  Unless it was a business trip, there is NO WAY i would take a pleasure trip with a woman that my wife/fiancee did not know.  That's stupid and disrespectful.

 

Here is something else to consider.  Many fake marriage green card scammers start acting differently when they think they are in the clear and have the magic ticket to the US.  This is when they screw themselves by revealing their true motives before getting a green card in hand.

 

If he is disrespectful to you, you should run.  That is what I would tell my daughter.

Just to add to Jojo your husband does not need to see you when he gets here. When visa is approved he can travel here and pay his GC and get it send to another address. 

[tamoko899 2]

1 hour ago, mdnl said:

My husband has an appointment in UAE for his spousal visa. He is from Iran. While in Dubai, he sent me a picture of him with another Iranian guy he met and there was one German girl in picture he had not told me. When I asked who he was, he got very defensive then he went on and on attack me about how I live my life: don't work (I work part time), don't go out, no hobby. I just asked simple questions about where he was, what he did, what's his plan for the day, who she was and he got really defensive and was angry at me.

 

Usually we talked about the same time everyday when he was back home. Since in Dubai, he has no fixed schedule so I never knew what he was doing. Communication is not easy. WhatsApp voice is blocked, Skype video is blocked (but we have not tried it yet, I just read it). I told him to use Hangouts, it worked but not so good quality but worked. I asked his UAE number so I could call, phone number was not found so I told him to try to call my US number from Skype. He accused me of being controlling. He didn't like me asking questions where he was about. He said I was spying on me.

 

I felt wow... Something wrong? Why so defensive and private now?

 

I told him not to come to interview and I want a divorce. Am I wrong and overreact or he was wrong for hanging out with a very young beautiful German girl he met in hostel? He told me she will go together with him tomorrow from Dubai to Abu Dhabi. 

 

I feel he is being so disrespectful to me.

 

What do you think?

Hello everybody I am Taha. I am her husband from Iran. Since she trust more to other peoples opinion, so I'm  answering her here. Every story have two side! Now here my side. Most of the thing she said is true but the problem is she didn't mention some part of the story, so she can win this argument with me, however I belive there is no wining when couples fight. Both side will lose. Anyway, that day I came back home from Dubai fountain. That day I was angry, upset, and tired. Upset cause everybody had somebody to walk with but I was alone! I missed her more, I was angry because of two thing. First i bought a sim card few days ago, wich i didnt have signal most of the time.  But i paid for the sim 50 box!! Then after i saw the beatiful fountain i got angry because of my poor peope my compatriots that why they have to live under this regime cause iran could be instead of emirates! I refer all of you to check Iran 40 years ago and also emirate 40 years ago, youll get my point. 

Anyway after i got home i send all the pictures to my wife, i dont like typing, but also i couldnt talk because skype and whatsapp is blocked. But i send the pictures for my wife. She always say thanks or good pic or you look good but instead she start to questing me! I answered calmly but i got angry at one point that she was keep questionsing me! I told her make a life for yourself. She is sitting whole day in home! Plus she don't have any desire for anything! I said when you do nothing you start to became paranoia and you attack  me and you acuse me for everything! She just work 1 or 2 day per week and she dont do anything at all at home! 

Now about the german girl. I told to my wife about her!!! I was just trying to be honest to my wife! I told my wife that she is bag packer. And she stay in hostel for few days. And then i talked to her. Of course not just her. I became friends with almot all the people there. The first thing I told to german girl that I'm married and I'm here just for interview. She said ok. Then i showed her my wifes pic. These whole three days I talked to her two time. Also i become friend on Facebook with her. Then she said i want to go abu dabi on Wednesday and then i said if you want we can go together so we are not alone. She said ok. I told all of this to my wife! Yes all of this! If i had something to hide. I could never told her about German girl. I told her all of this but sound she hear nothing! She is keep repating all of this the wole day! Plus even thou I think I didn't do anthing wrong but today more for time I said sorry, forgive me cause I love her, but she was keep attacking me whole day. I got very angry. I said mean thing but she did the same also!! So we were even but yet I said sorry...yet know she still wants to attack me! My whole family and friends know about her, in Iran when you get marry you should stay marry, this is the culture here, whenever somebody marry in Iran. They stay marry forever! She knows about all of this

[Georgia16 2,858]

Since both of you obviously have internet connections I would suggest you guys close this thread and do a chat together privately to sort this matter out. 

 

Marriage is not easy but doing this in a public forum is just wrong and definitely won't help your marriage or the problems you guys obviously have to sort out also before you the husband gets here so it won't get worse. 

 

Good luck. 

[LionessDeon 2,060]

LDR are so difficult.  It takes alot of trust.   I hope you both can work this out.

Good Luck!

[Lifeisbeautiful03 9]

Why hurt your spouse that's bn with you through thick and thin, or put unnecessary strain in your relationship, i wonder how he would have felt if you did the same to him also.....what's truly  yours can never be taken!

Edited May 24, 2017 by Lifeisbeautiful03

[mdnl 8]

Funny, he made friends with everyone there but only the very pretty young German girl travelling alone added to his Facebook. 

[Auds 223]

9 hours ago, mdnl said:

My husband has an appointment in UAE for his spousal visa. He is from Iran. While in Dubai, he sent me a picture of him with another Iranian guy he met and there was one German girl in picture he had not told me. When I asked who he was, he got very defensive then he went on and on attack me about how I live my life: don't work (I work part time), don't go out, no hobby. I just asked simple questions about where he was, what he did, what's his plan for the day, who she was and he got really defensive and was angry at me.

 

Usually we talked about the same time everyday when he was back home. Since in Dubai, he has no fixed schedule so I never knew what he was doing. Communication is not easy. WhatsApp voice is blocked, Skype video is blocked (but we have not tried it yet, I just read it). I told him to use Hangouts, it worked but not so good quality but worked. I asked his UAE number so I could call, phone number was not found so I told him to try to call my US number from Skype. He accused me of being controlling. He didn't like me asking questions where he was about. He said I was spying on me.

 

I felt wow... Something wrong? Why so defensive and private now?

 

I told him not to come to interview and I want a divorce. Am I wrong and overreact or he was wrong for hanging out with a very young beautiful German girl he met in hostel? He told me she will go together with him tomorrow from Dubai to Abu Dhabi. 

 

I feel he is being so disrespectful to me.

 

What do you think?

Skype is not blocked here.  Only cannot be used on data - fine on wifi!

 

i use it every day for several hours fpr the past 2 years so i should know.

Edited May 25, 2017 by Auds

[Auds 223]

And having said that - some very committed men can flip when over questioned.

 

 

I do have an inclination that you talked about extreme because something was building for a while.  Or you are damaged from past cheating.

 

Ask yourself.

[mdnl 8]

He never tried to call me from Skype. This was a sudden change. Normally he had to talk to me everyday or he would have a bad day. When I asked him to call me from Skype, he said I was controlling. Usually we talked everyday and now he didn't miss me not talking for 3 days. It made me very suspicious.

 

In January, I found him back on Cupid. I was very angry but trying to forgive him. Even now, I am forgiving him. I am sure people think I am very stupid.

Edited May 25, 2017 by mdnl

[Auds 223]

1 minute ago, mdnl said:

He never tried to call me from Skype. This was a sudden change. Normally he had to talk to me everyday or he would have a bad day. When I asked him to call me from Skype, he said I was controlling. Usually we talked everyday and now he didn't miss me not talking for 3 days. It made me very suspicious.

Travelling, new sim cards etc can be frustrating ...