Should we get wedding rings for our AOS interview?

[Allie D 39]

I've read in several forums that wedding and engagement rings are not necessary for AOS interviews. They're not a part of many cultures and many people cannot afford them. However, my husband and I are comfortably middle class. He's a "typical white American guy" with a "typical white upper-middle class American upbringing in the suburbs" (his words, not mine. Forgive us for stereotyping). I've lived in the UK and USA for 95% of my life. With regard to culture, appearance, accent, values, perspective, etc. I'm very much like him.

 

Some of our friends argue that given our backgrounds, we should get rings, just to show society that we're committed spouses. They think that if someone doesn't wear a ring, they're giving the wrong signals. E.g. you're hiding something, expressing your receptivity towards flings.

 

Would it be a red flag for us to show up at the AOS interview without rings, given our cultural and class backgrounds? We think rings are unnecessary, both in terms of finances and showing commitment. From what I've seen in pawn shops, the nicer (i.e. not tacky) rings can be upwards of $200-300. And women wear two! One with a diamond! We skipped that stuff. No (potentially) questionably/unethically harvested gemstones and metals for us. I'm not judging anyone who does choose to go that route -- your life! We'd also rather spend the money on a summer vacation.

 

Just trying to get opinions. Or even experiences where the immigration officer asked about why you weren't wearing rings. Thanks!

[heo luoi 206]

You could get cubix and not over indulge. You could get costume jewelry or custom Etsy jewelry.

Regardless I highly doubt it matters all that much aside from the symbolism it doesn't mean much to one w/ a pragmatic/objective approach like USCIS.  Scammers and fakers can get rings. 

[zilchfox 296]

Rings aren't required, but do show a small amount of commitment, however in the end it's just a piece of gold anyone can buy if they can afford it. My husband and I never got rings when we got married, instead we traded engagement rings with each other (yes we both had one, we're not a traditional couple, shut up lol) =P

[Allie D 39]

12 minutes ago, zilchfox said:

Rings aren't required, but do show a small amount of commitment, however in the end it's just a piece of gold anyone can buy if they can afford it. My husband and I never got rings when we got married, instead we traded engagement rings with each other (yes we both had one, we're not a traditional couple, shut up lol) =P

That is a very cute idea! I like that you both had one. My husband is now suggesting that we get rings. It wasn't something either of us had thought of when we eloped. Now that I mentioned the expression of commitment idea (and the fact that someone here said so too), he thinks it would be a nice symbol. We probably won't spend a lot of money and we'll split the costs. Not a traditional couple either.

[p-ana 933]

We do not have rings and the interview went fine. It was never brought up during the interview, in which I was approved on the spot. 

I've had my green card for 8 months now.

 

sometimes I do think about getting one, but I hate jewelry and hate the thought of only getting one to try and keep idiot guys away (or to try and get the harassment level I have to deal with to a lower level)

 

 

[ricky90501 15]

Rings are not required for the interview. It might help your case if the IO sees that you are wearing them during the interview, but they are not good evidence of marriage (just because you're wearing them doesn't mean they are really yours). The IO asks to see more solid evidence such as joint bank accounts, tax returns, utility bills, lease, insurance docs, photos of you together (especially with family and friends). If the IO asks you why you're not wearing rings, just say you didn't get them for financial reasons. That is a perfectly good reason.

[Allie D 39]

21 minutes ago, p-ana said:

sometimes I do think about getting one, but I hate jewelry and hate the thought of only getting one to try and keep idiot guys away (or to try and get the harassment level I have to deal with to a lower level)

 

 

That's how I feel about it too! My husband's from the south and is slightly more conservative (nowhere close to the stereotypes however :P). He was swayed by the idea that the immigration officer might consider the lack-of being a "lack of commitment" issue. Even if he starts wearing a ring regularly, I know I won't. I like having my hands free and don't want to worry about losing a ring.

[Illiria 980]

Rings aren't required. Plus men didn't wear wedding bands at all traditionally in the U.K. so it's not like it's a long standing traditional custom. Only since like the 40's have they done it and not all do. 

 

If, and only if, you do want to get rings you don't have to go traditional expensive either, mine are from tiffanys but I don't have diamonds so they were both reasonable, $125 each. Mostly I just wanted a ring from Tiffany's on 5th avenue. They are the 1837 collection in stirling silver and titanium. My husband can't wear rings so he was never going to have one.

 

You could do anything - get them on necklaces, tattooed on, have piercings instead, or not have rings. 

 

It should be an expression of yourselves and if that means not having rings then so be it. 

Edited May 4, 2017 by Illiria

[Allie D 39]

8 minutes ago, Illiria said:

Rings aren't required. Plus men didn't wear wedding bands at all traditionally in the U.K. so it's not like it's a long standing traditional custom. Only since like the 40's have they done it and not all do. 

 

If, and only if, you do want to get rings you don't have to go traditional expensive either, mine are from tiffanys but I don't have diamonds so they were both reasonable, $125 each. My husband can't wear rings so he was never going to have one.

 

You could do anything - get them on necklaces, tattooed on, have piercings instead, or not have rings. 

 

It should be an expression of yourselves and if that means not having rings then so be it. 

Thanks for the suggestions! I prefer necklaces to rings, so perhaps I can get a ring on a necklace as you seem to have suggested. Why didn't I think of that!

[Illiria 980]

So many of the ring tattoos, where a ring design is tattooed onto the wedding ring finger, I've seen are really pretty but I was too much of a wuss to get it done, I have threatened my husband with it though 

Edited May 4, 2017 by Illiria

[3rd 84]

I wouldn't worry about it, it's personal choice and if they mention it just give your exact reasonings. If you're secure in your relationship and why you don't want them then that should be all that will make a difference to the interviewer. I got a very cheap set of rings for the pair of us for 'ceremonies' sake when we got married. Silver, crazy cheap rings that I bought off Amazon a week or so before. For Christmas my husband paid for an updated design for me not because I feel more secure with a ring on, but because with it on I don't get inappropriate comments from other men or any unnecessary advances. I'm probably going to have to take it off soon though as I'm pregnant and my fingers have been swelling. Haha!

[QueenComley 295]

Wedding rings are a personal preference. Mine is white gold with diamonds and was on sale for $75. My husband has a tungsten wedding band on sale from $150 to $20 (bargain!!). Rings do not have to cost a fortune. But you should not have to bend to society's perspective of what's right or wrong. If you don't want a wedding band that's up to all. Its most certainly not a requirement to wear one for AOS.

[SparklePony 238]

My ring is a silver unicorn, and my husband has a silvery Batman ring. We couldn't afford the nice ones so we decided to go for something that's totally us. We have the pics from our wedding and everything. People always love it when we explain, and they're totally personal to us.

[Allie D 39]

3 minutes ago, SparklePony said:

My ring is a silver unicorn, and my husband has a silvery Batman ring. We couldn't afford the nice ones so we decided to go for something that's totally us. We have the pics from our wedding and everything. People always love it when we explain, and they're totally personal to us.

That's really lovely and I like your story. When my husband and I eloped, we didn't get rings because we're young, silly, and like to think we're iconoclastic. The wedding officiant was a little by perplexed how we stumbled in. You beat us!

Edited May 5, 2017 by Allie D

[SparklePony 238]

Heh, thanks. We didn't do a wedding cake either, but we got a blueberry muffin from the bakery (hubby's favorite), and we put a unicorn and Batman figurines on top, like cake toppers. Then did the whole cutting it with both our hands and giving a piece to each other. Lots of fun!