Feeling useless waiting for EAD

[Matt&Sophie 8]

Hey

I came here in September and we filed AOS in October, I recently had my Biometrics appointment so now we're onto the true waiting game for everything to be processed.

I just like I'm going a bit crazy being stuck without anything to do on a daily basis, the holidays are coming up, my savings are running thin from trying to contribute as much as possible to rent/bills/expenses etc. and stress seems to be really taking its toll.

Don't get me wrong, I am SO grateful to be here and to be able to finally be with my love and to call him my husband, but he works 5 days a week on varying shifts, and i'm starting to struggle to find motivation to get up in the morning, there's only so much housework you can do to busy yourself before it all starts to feel a little pointless. :/

I don't really have any friends here as i don't know that many people and with a history of anxiety and depression its all starting to get on top of me a bit how much i miss my friends and family back in the UK. - My husband is being very understanding and supporting with the whole situation but obviously its difficult for him to be able to put himself in my shoes.

Eurghhh, I realise I'm moaning, that i haven't even been here that long and that people have it farer worse off than me, but anybody else feeling a little useless and struggling to motivate themselves?

[Roel 7,191]

So many posts like that lately... Eh.

There is SO many things you can do. You're an adult, you never had any hobby or interests? Go check the communities around you. Volunteer at local animal shelter (that's what I did). Sign in for some online classes. Read a book. Learn some new skill. Talk to your family or friends on skype. My husband works almost the whole day. When I came here, he left for the 2 months long field exercise. Somehow I never had issues with finding things to do. The world is so full of .. things!

You knew its going to be like that before you moved here. No point of moaning now, suck it up. You'll have your work permit soon.

[Dutchster 1,106]

If you read through this topic, you can see you're not the only one. It sucks being at home all day with the spouse working. I know a majority of this community who went through the Adjustment of Status stage will agree on how difficult it can be and feel. I totally feel the same sometimes, girl. Sometimes I say that I really feel like immigration took away my freedom because I can not drive or work or even leave the country right away if something happens to my parents. BUT, I do try to make the best out of it. I run nowadays, sport outside - yoga. You really have to bite the bullet for a little, how hard it can be. Before you know, you'll be working and thinking of those wonderful times being at home and doing nothing and wish you'd be there still.

[Unlockable 7,306]

Saving this thread as an example of one of the cons of the K1 when someone ask which is better, K1 or CR1.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

There are several threads like yours weekly. You can read this one here with good ideas from yesterday :

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/618515-no-jobnothing-to-dotears/

You can search for other threads and get ideas. I immigrated too but can't relate to being bored or frustrated.

I can always find something to enjoy. Hubby immigrated and felt a bit anxious to work but got over it.

[Villanelle 4,121]

Here are some ideas for you-

http://helpfromhome.org/ Volunteering and keep busy activities that can make you feel good- I like the postcards for sick kids!

http://www.openculture.com/freeonlinecourses- learn languages, take a class, learn a skill

https://www.coursera.org/ more classes. Look on google plenty of sites like this, some even earn credits!

http://www.thebookoflife.org/ - this is a wonderful site if you are into self exploration and philosophy. Lots of articles to keep you busy reading and thinking, promote conversations.

issuu is an online book and magazine site you can read and possible download if the publisher allows it. No sign in needed. You can find books on everything so if theres a how to topic you want to explore you can find it there- like cooking, knitting, yoga or meditation etc. https://issuu.com/

Ive got plenty more sites and things to do at home... if you need more suggestions just ask- let me know what you are looking for!

Edited December 3, 2016 by Damara

[Ketsuban 1,034]

I have anxiety too, some days I'm too scared to leave my apartment because... well, I don't even know. What helped me while I was unemployed was to immerse myself in video games to pass the time, as well as find new recipes to cook (I love cooking). I recommend the other poster's idea of volunteering though. I volunteered for a time back in the UK when I was 20 and it helped me learn to deal with the public and confront some aspects of my anxiety. It also gave me work experience I could put on my CV. A question you might be asked in your next job interview is what you were doing during the time you were unemployed - if you answer with voluntary work that'll boost your employability.

[mallafri76 1,012]

Sometimes I say that I really feel like immigration took away my freedom because I can not drive or work or even leave the country right away if something happens to my parents.

It was your own choice. You could have chosen to do the cr-1, which would have meant about six months longer processing in your home country but you would've had a green card as soon as you entered the US and been allowed to do all those things.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

I actually enjoyed the 3 months of doing 'nothing'

Watching cable TV, napping, walking the dog, going grocery shopping nearby with a bicycle,

eating ice-cream all I want, reading books from library .... etc

In fact, I felt time passed very fast.

Once you start working, you will realize how little vacation days you get in US.

[yuna628 9,528]

One thing that helped my husband pass the time was by keeping himself busy. And I think that's really a good thing for anyone. Are you interested in video games? How about adult coloring books? Crosswords? Movies/tv? Trips to the library or park or exploring town with public transport? All this can add up, be very therapeutic, and help pass the time. Volunteering at shelters can also be very rewarding too. At the same time, it will be normal to miss family and friends, and to go through a phase of grieving in a way. You're growing into a new life now, one that's very different from what you've been used to. Try not to focus on the ''what ifs'' and be fearful, but focus on more enriching ways of spending the time you have now. We only have so much of it, afterall.

[Dutchster 1,106]

It was your own choice. You could have chosen to do the cr-1, which would have meant about six months longer processing in your home country but you would've had a green card as soon as you entered the US and been allowed to do all those things.

I'm well aware it was my own choice and I get over it, thank you. I was just pointing out that we all have our break down over it and not everyone chooses cr-1, I'd do the K1 all over again if needed. I rather be married to him and wait for the papers to be done than to be married and living apart for a year. Anyone has their own reasons on what's the best and I have a happy life and I'm not bragging about not working. Like I said, just giving out an example we all have that feeling one time (or all the time, whatever)

[Ontarkie 13,914]

~~moved to Moving Here and Your New Life, from AOS Family - As similar topics are discussed here.~~

[TBoneTX 43,048]

OP, when your husband works days, have him drop you at the student center of a nearby university. Spend the day there and in the library, and have him pick you up in the evening. You'll see different things, meet people from all over, and make friends.

Another great idea:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/449151-the-steveandtiff-stupremacy/?p=6471637

[Matt&Sophie 8]

Thanks for the support guys, I'm really not meaning to sound ungrateful, I realise it was my decision to agree to go down this route, and like Sundaysue I would do it all over again because finally getting to fall asleep next to my husband every night is worth all of the waiting, paperwork, expense and hassle.

I play a lot of video games, but again it gets to the point when you find yourself repeating the same routine over and over you start to lose motivation. Think i probably need to get a bit more active and get out of the house. - I'll be sure to check out some of your suggestions for ideas of things to do, thanks

[Catuela 16]

Www.parl.org providence animal rescue league...they always need volunteers.

I'm not sure where in RI you are. But each city has rescues.

Edited December 4, 2016 by Catuela