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wheresthebeef29

Not living together, and no immediate plans to do so.

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Filed: Timeline

My second question in one evening. Thank you all for your help! You guys are the best.

My husband and I have been married for one year and are submitting our AOS application this weekend. He is the USC and I am the foreign spouse.

We've were together 2 years before we were married. Our evidence of a joint life is strong. Our financial assets are mixed, we have joint credit cards and phone bills, and evidence of a great wedding/celebration with (choosing only a few select photos from that was so hard! I had to be talked out of submitting the entire album!). We know everything about each other. Everything. And neither of us are closer to anyone else in the world, and never have been. We are literally like one person.

With one exception: we don't live together. We have separate addresses in close proximity in the same city.

Until we started this process, it didn't even cross our minds that this would be an issue, since it is so normal to us. We hired a lawyer to help us with our application, after realizing it was the reddest of red flags. The thing is, we can't live together. Not while we live in a city where apartments are about the size of a shoe box. There's a medical reason behind this, and we have a very long and detailed doctor's report (from a doctor who has experience in immigration experience and "atypical" arrangements), laying out all the reasons why. My mind was put at rest by the medical professional, until I read some topics on here that say that even religious beliefs aren't enough to combat the living together requirement. Surely, religious beliefs are more serious than medical issues?! So in that vein, are we screwed?!

The situation is driving us both a bit mad. We're a married couple and we conduct our lives as such. Always together, in constant communication during the working day when we're not together, my husband and my family are extremely close, and our friends are one solid unit. We spend so much time in the apartment in his name, that I could answer ANY question about it (and his living habits) easily. The thing is, we just sleep in different places most nights, after spending days/evenings together. And we were honest about that on our forms -- we have different legal addresses. That has never made us feel any less than married, until this. I hate that USCIS has the ability to make you feel so invalid. :(

Any thoughts?

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Filed: Timeline

I should add -- it also has nothing to do with finances, and we wouldn't try and suggest it did at the interview. We're both high earners (him a little more than me), no criminal backgrounds, no previous marriages, both have graduate degrees (he's an attorney). In my opinion, nothing else on our application screams "dodgy." But I know that as normal as our situation is to us, it is objectively not the norm for a married couple.

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My husband and I lived in different states prior to our AOS. It seemed to have zero effect on our application. Good luck!

May I ask what they lawyer is doing for you that would be different from what you would do without the lawyer?

 

 

AOS

03/24/11 - Got married in the Boogie-Down Bronx, NYC!
04/21/11 - Mailed I-130,I-765, I-485, I-864 and I-693 - Day 00

04/23/11 - Application delivered - Day 02
04/28/11 - NOA (most forms) - Day 07
05/03/11 - Checks cashed - Day 12
05/31/11 - Biometrics completed in the Bronx, NYC - Day 40
06/24/11 - Received someone else's employment authorization card!!! What the...? - Day 64
07/01/11 - Mailed the poor lady's card back after calling USCIS - Day 71
07/07/11 - Received poor lady's interview notice! What??? - Day 77
07/15/11 - Received my own EAD card - Day 85
08/12/11 - Interview. Approved on the spot! - Day 113
08/18/11 - Received card in the mail - Day 119

ROC
05/28/13 - Mailed I-751 - Day 00

05/30/13 - Application delivered - Day 02

05/31/13 - NOA I-797 - Day 03
06/04/13 - Check cashed - Day 07

06/06/13 - NOA delivered to my home/Biometrics letter generated - Day 09

06/10/13 - Received Biometrics letter in the mail - Day 13

06/27/13 - Biometrics completed in Milwaukee, WI - Day 30

09/10/13 - Application approved! - Day 105

09/14/13 - 10 year Green Card received! - Day 109

Citizenship

05/10/16 - Mailed N-400 - Day 00

05/12/16 - Application delivered - Day 02

05/13/16 - Credit card payment accepted - Day 03

05/17/16 - Received text & email update - Day 07

05/20/16 - Received 1st NOA (dated 05/13/16) & created ELIS acct - Day 10

05/21/16 - Received 2nd NOA (dated 05/16/16) confirming my DOB and address - Day 11

05/22/06 - Biometrics scheduled (online update) and appt letter was mailed on 05/20/16 - Day 12

05/24/06 - Biometrics letter became viewable online (appt scheduled for 06/07/16) - Day 14

05/27/16 - Received Biometrics letter in mail - Day 17

05/31/16 - Was denied walk-in fingerprints with just 1 person left in line. Milwaukee office, boo! - Day 21

06/07/16 - Biometrics completed in Milwaukee, WI - Day 28

12/21/16 - Passed Citizenship test/Interview was successful! - Day 197

01/26/17 - I am a US citizen!!! - Day 233

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Filed: Timeline

Just preparing all of the forms for us, and answering questions from a legal point of view. Being that the husband is an attorney, he felt more comfortable that way. His call. :luv: We started off doing the forms ourselves, but it was kind of overwhelming and the idea of paying someone $750 to make sure we didn't mess it up and to tell us EXACTLY what we needed was very appealing! He also hadn't discovered the guides on this site at that point...

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How did you enter the US? Visa or VWP? While I personally do not think that you will be denied because of your non cohabitation,a denial without possibility of appeal, after an overstay (how long?), would not be fun. [i also have to admit I am very intrigued about the health problem preventing to adults from sleeping in different beds in the same residence]

Edited by Lemonslice
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Surely, religious beliefs are more serious than medical issues?! So in that vein, are we screwed?

Maybe it's easier to document a medical condition with data than to document a "belief".

England.gifENGLAND ---

K-1 Timeline 4 months, 19 days 03-10-08 VSC to 7-29-08 Interview London

10-05-08 Married

AOS Timeline 5 months, 14 days 10-9-08 to 3-23-09 No interview

Removing Conditions Timeline 5 months, 20 days12-27-10 to 06-10-11 No interview

Citizenship Timeline 3 months, 26 days 12-31-11 Dallas to 4-26-12 Interview Houston

05-16-12 Oath ceremony

The journey from Fiancé to US citizenship:

4 years, 2 months, 6 days

243 pages of forms/documents submitted

No RFEs

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Filed: Timeline

I also live in NYC. If you are both high earners then surely you can afford a two bedroom apartment. Right now you are paying two rents....it makes no sense..just playing devils advocate here. You need to realize how it appears . I wish I could help you with encouragement but it honestly makes no sense.

That is the plan. Right now we both have leases on our studios through mid 2017. Hence the no immediate plans to do so (I didn't say we never will, though! A 2 bed is the plan when our lease is up). I'm worried about giving specifics as I don't want to out myself, but it is loosely related to a form of sleep disorder on his end that renders it totally impossible for to sleep in the same room for the majority of the time. :cry: Which, in our current situation with us each in a studio, means separate apartments for now. We have regular sleepovers, it is not as if we NEVER sleep in the same apartment; we do on a regular basis. But he has to have his own place (and next year, room) for when this issue is at its peak.

Also, please don't consider me a bad wife! He insists on this arrangement as he ends up so upset and beating himself up the next day when I haven't been able to get any sleep. It is a really bad situation, but everyone has their flaws/issues and I cannot and do not blame him for his. We treasure the nights where we go out and drink so much wine that we're both unconscious and this isn't an issue LOL. :jest:

Maybe it's easier to document a medical condition with data than to document a "belief".

I guess, but that seems so discriminatory to me! I feel bad for those people.

Edited by TBoneTX
to amend scatological term
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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Iran
Timeline

That is the plan. Right now we both have leases on our studios through mid 2017. Hence the no immediate plans to do so (I didn't say we never will, though! A 2 bed is the plan when our lease is up). I'm worried about giving specifics as I don't want to out myself, but it is loosely related to a form of sleep disorder on his end that renders it totally impossible for to sleep in the same room for the majority of the time. :cry: Which, in our current situation with us each in a studio, means separate apartments for now. We have regular sleepovers, it is not as if we NEVER sleep in the same apartment; we do on a regular basis. But he has to have his own place (and next year, room) for when this issue is at its peak.

Also, please don't consider me a bad wife! He insists on this arrangement as he ends up so upset and beating himself up the next day when I haven't been able to get any sleep. It is a really bad situation, but everyone has their flaws/issues and I cannot and do not blame him for his. We treasure the nights where we go out and drink so much wine that we're both unconscious and this isn't an issue LOL. :jest:

I guess, but that seems so discriminatory to me! I feel bad for those people.

Well, then maybe be certain to be prepared for such questions in the event the interviewing officer has doubts. I wish you the best!

Edited by TBoneTX
to amend scatological term

event.png
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Filed: Timeline

Well, I guess all you can do is give the facts as you have given them to us. 2 apartments. 2 leases. A sleep disorder (properly documented) you do have sleep overs. Strange saying that about 2 adults. I am used to a bunch of teen girls camping out in my living room occasionally. Good luck! All I can say is keep thinking in terms of the perception of a 3rd party to your story and what you'll need to overcome their situational judgment. (The IO)

 
 

 

 

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline

OP, have your lawyer draw up wills, medical powers of attorney, and similar documents that will confirm your legal, financial, and personal commitments to each other. These documents make excellent evidence for removing conditions later, too.

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Ecuador
Timeline

Why 2 bedroom? Can't you sleep together and have just 1 bedroom? none of my business but this is probably what i would ask if i was immigrtion interviewer.

and immigration knows you can sublet one of the studio apartments with no problems in NY city

interesting if you make it but really doubt this will get your AOS

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