Long-time lurker, scared about things.

[AndreaArizaA 0]

Hello.

I'm a 29-year-old Colombian who recently had to call off her engagement because the costs of the whole K1/AOS process are too high and we can't guarantee that we can meet all the requirements.

We're really hurt about this, since we've been together as a couple for a year and a half, and all we want is to be together. But my boyfriend has had severe health issues that have made him spend a lot of money on treatments that haven't been effective at all. He also works part time in retail and goes to a university, but that only adds to his monetary issues. My father (a US citizen) agreed to be one of my sponsors, but his father's reluctant to do so, which we can't blame him for. He did, however, say that he was okay with me living with them until we were able to afford a place to live.

I've been working as a languages teacher in Bogotá, and I'm barely able to pay the rent for a room and all my stuff, but what worries me is not being able to get a job there (even if there is a branch office of the company I work for). All in all, I'm scared of things being denied and us being unable to be together. This is already affecting our relationship, as what should be a happy time of planning has become painful because of the distance.

If you have any advice you could give us I'd be incredibly grateful.

[Anh map 2,098]

You do not need multiple sponsors. Just one person that meets the guidelines. The sponsor is just a guarantee that the immigrant will not use government services that are based on income guidelines. They are not required to help you pay your bills, etc.

As far as supporting yourselves, you are wise to consider how you will do so. Love doesn't pay the bills. And if he is unable to work then the burden will fall on you. If you can't find the money to obtain the visa and then process the adjustment of status then you ought to wait. Money is one of the biggest stresses on a relationship. Why set yourselves up for failure?

Let your boyfriend's health improve and then you will both be in a better situation to have a good life together.

Best of luck.

[AndreaArizaA 0]

You're right about that, but at the same time I know that what he needs to improve his health is me being there.

All in all, I'm scared that the stress of this whole process may break us apart for good. I'm trying to stay strong, but I'm only human.

Thank you for your kind words.

[kris&me 572]

I am so sorry for your situation

but the other post is correct

Money problems add stress (not only now but in the future). It is the number one reason for marriage failure as it causes other issues

If you love each other you need to emotionally support the other / hard to do with the distance, yes, but it is the one thing that can hold you together

you can apply for expediated processing but if you can't afford the AOS is the future, not sure what would happen.

I hope here others can give you better advise. All i can say is that as a marriage and family advocate, i have seen too many with financial issues break apart giving them more money problems

THE BEST TO YOU/ hope your love can survive this stress

[Pitaya 2,576]

Welcome to the forum.

The wise old VJ sage, Anh Map is spot on.

[TBoneTX 43,058]

I agree with all the posters above.

Everything happens for a reason. Keep the faith.

Your English is excellent, by the way.

Edited October 9, 2015 by TBoneTX

[AndreaArizaA 0]

Thanks. Despite me being 100% Colombian, English's my first language.

Also, at this point, he and I are trying to get over the shock, but he takes more time sorting things out. But I don't have a good feeling about this.

[AndreaArizaA 0]

It's over. We broke up for good. He's too hurt because of me, so I let him go.

Thanks for your warm thoughts. Good luck in your lives.

You can lock this topic now.

[TBoneTX 43,058]

Good luck, Dear.

*** Thread closed at OP's request. ***