Marriage is going in danger situation

[FZSA 23]

Hello !

Hope you all are good ! I want to share my story with you and need some advice regarding to current situation :

I got married in 2013 and came to US in Aug 2014 :

We have some misunderstanding in our country during marriage life ( in Pakistan ) with small issues which i did not realise that it will become big with time:

Somehow My wife did not tell me any thing and she did not stop my Immigration process when i was in my country :

When i came here , she suddenly started reaction as stranger with me , she did not talk to me , started job from morning till night : Got a ride with a guy for job place and when i asked her about that guy , she just replied he is my rider :

Well we talked together about it and almost fight ( verbally ) , after that she did not talk to me and said live as you want and live me alone :

we are living in same place but in different room ...she does not want separation nor divorce with me but said live as we are living ( like stranger ) :

I am in harder situation and don't want to leave her ...... i don't know what to do in future because i have a Conditional PR:

In that situation will i able to remove my condition alone while we are married ? this marriage was in good faith and i want to live as a good family husband :

She does not want to open joined bank account with me and may be does not want to file joined tax return in April 2015 ...

!!!! need your advice please !!!!!

[Ian H. 207]

The problem is that you are still married so you pretty much only have a couple of choices:

One file the ROC as married, if you don't have any proof of bona fides and your wife will not file it with you, then this may not be a choice, or

Two file the ROC with extreme hardship, not sure how this one works though.

Otherwise you have to divorce and file the petition on your own. You have to prove that the marriage was entered into with good faith.

Edited October 25, 2014 by Ian H.

[FZSA 23]

If i divorce her then how can i prove that marriage was entered in good faith from my side ?

We just have a problem that she wants to live her live alone while married but doesn't want to live as a married wife ....

She does not go anywhere with me , dont talk to me , spend all time out side from 8 am till 11 pm ....

[Homer Simpson 7]

Try marriage counseling I think the issue in question is she is not interested in the marriage life anymore but from your side you are still insisting on continuing this marriage life from one side only which is not functional at all.

if you try marriage counseling with a third party (mediation) it will proof that you are still trying to save you marriage from your side (as you say it started in good faith marriage) and on the other hand you will get a clear understanding from her side too as why she wants to be like this, so if you get a divorce at least you know what happened so you will avoid it in future marriages, and both of you will have the proof that you both took the extra step towards saving what was left of it but it failed beyond your ability to save it.

keep in mind that culture shock and missing family and relatives in the first year or 2 could be hard on people of different cultures, especially cultures with extended family type of thing like Asia, Africa, Latin and South America and some parts of Euro-Asian cultures where inhabitants of those regions (some of them) may experience deep depression and sadness over dramatic change of life style and social life aside from missing their family, friends, and environment that they lived in for decades.

good luck

Edited October 25, 2014 by Homer Simpson

[FZSA 23]

you mean first i take marriage counselling and then divorced ? Is it possible to get marriage counselling and file for ROC without divorced ?

If yes then which joined waiver step ????

[Homer Simpson 7]

the first step is counseling. keep in mind that you have to have a clear mind about it so if it fails you did what you could on your side. if the marriage was in good faith and legit. then the first thing people do is counseling since they are not happy with their miserable situation and want to make their life better,

second stage when the counseling fails then you can take extra steps toward separation and divorce. you can get separated first, i.e each of you lives in a separate address and in this case you file separate tax since you filed for divorce and separation is the first stage of divorce because you will be waiting for the civil court to finalize your divorce.

if you don't have kids or assets with a prenuptial that could make you life easier and the divorce could be faster since there are no disputes and you both will come to the agreement front of the lawyers to finalize the divorce. but if she chooses to finalize the divorce according to the marriage agreement between you (which I assume was issued in Pakistan), and if it is a Nikah agreement with a divorce payment then you will be judged according to that because the Pakistani marriage certificate is certified and was presented to the USA embassy and USCIS as a part of the immigration sponsor process and she could challenge that in court and could be found entitled to that money.

make sure to start with counseling because it will buy you a couple of weeks till you get lawyers and figure out the story with a clearer mind

[FZSA 23]

I talked to her that how can we live like that then she said divorced me :

I replied so what about the money return in NIKAH nama ?? she said i will not ask you for it :

I cant believe her because the lied me lots of times and may be she will ask for that money after divorced :

This money is a big amount : Her mother also said that leave my daughter because she is not listing me too "

She is not listening any one including her mother and all relatives :

[Sunnybeach7 2]

It sounds like she is definitely going through something (not sure what) if she is not listening to you or any of her family.

I'm worried if she used you to get the money? Maybe she's found interest in someone else? Are you certain she is working all that time?

If you get a divorce I would definitely get in writing that she will not ask for the money.

[sarahch 68]

She is involved with the so called person who is giving her a ride to work. I think there is someone shes interested in. I think you should look in to that and find out what is going on there if you want to try to save this marriage.

[jerod_gavel 16]

Nika Nama (Urdu for Marriage Contract) is not applied the same way in the United States. It may however grant you certain immunities during divorce as it is comparable for a prenuptial agreement. Speak with a counselor. If that does not work out, go to a lawyer. Make sure the lawyer knows you think of the Nika Nama as a Prenuptial Agreement.

[FZSA 23]

Prenuptial Agreement means ? and what is the best way to ROC ?

either divorced then ROC or ROC alone with waiver ?

which waiver condition applied on my situation ? while we don't have joined account but have same lease apartment ..

what bona fide i required if i apply alone for ROC ??

[FZSA 23]

any one knows good lawyer in houston then give me a detail please !!

[Snag 57]

She is involved with the so called person who is giving her a ride to work. I think there is someone shes interested in. I think you should look in to that and find out what is going on there if you want to try to save this marriage.

That's a big statement to make on such a little information base. My husband works in a prodominantly female industry, and has caught rides to work. If I had a penny for every time I thought he was having an affair with the woman who drove him, I'd be in the same financial spot as I already am at this moment.

OP, I would try to work things out with her. If you entered the marriage in genuinely good faith, then it's worth working on and working out. If it were me, and all was completely hopeless, I'd return to my native land, back to my friends and family, and try to rebuild life from a country I knew. Sure, it sucks that you've left everything for this woman, but I'm going to assume that you might have more support in your home land.

[Pitaya 2,576]

~Moved from ROC to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits Forum~

~Similar topics are often discussed at this forum~

[dwheels76 5,459]

any one knows good lawyer in houston then give me a detail please !!

I'm in Houston also. You have the best right here n Houston Laurel Scott.

http://www.scottimmigration.net/