Support from the husband who signed i-864 and separation

[xmgirl 4]

Hello

I am just going through very difficult financial times, and I am divorcing my US husband. I became a permanent resident 6 years ago. We have been separated for almost 2 years, he moved to live with his parents. In these 2 years I have been going through hell finding dificult to make a living and now I am even considering to resign to the green card because all of this. Recently I went to visit him at his parents but have been told by his parents that I am not welcome in their house and that my husband is a big charge for them. I am just wondering if he legally is still responsible for have brought me to this country and not to become a public charge. I am just tired of him and his inability to find a job and support the both of us or at least try to encourage one another to move on. He seems to be too comfortable in his actual living. I never thought he will be something like this when I marry him. I also question myself applying to get US citizenship.

Thank your for any answer...

Den

Edited October 14, 2014 by xmgirl

[JohnR! 5,495]

My suggestion is that if the marriage is over, file for a divorce. If he agrees to it, there are no kids or common property to be divided, you can do it on your own. Look for information on how to file yourself at your county's website. It should save you a ton of money in legal fees. As a LPR for 6 years you can apply for citizenship on your own, independently from your husband. When you become a US citizen, the I-864 he signed will cease to be effective. You will have no legal ties to him anymore.

[d3adc0d3 186]

The I-864 only obligates your ex to reimburse the US government if you get on welfare, if you've less than 40 IRS credits.

Some states may consider an alimony claim, but trying to get alimony from a man who is not making good money consistently is unlikely, in my unprofessional opinon.

As an LPR, you do qualify for food stamps, state health insurance (if within income limits), and you may qualify for housing and cash assistance. If you're really struggling, go to your local welfare office and apply.

Having custody of any children you may have will increase any benefits you may receive to cover their expenses, and if they're USC's your ex won't be responsible for paying the US government back for the children. However, if you have children and you're not getting child support, please contact your local child support agency to initiate the filing process for that.

Another thing to consider is a trade job, many offer paid training, or reimbursement, and they're high in demand. Trade jobs, are things like, electricians, HVAC techs, Truck Drivers, plumbers, mechanics, etc. Not all of them require a lot of brawn (better tools now-a-days) AND there's a a consistent job growth, and not enough people to fill them. You can contact your state's office to find out which ones are accepting interns, and ideas on who is paying for training or reimbursing the cost of the classes.

Your local unemployment office can be superbly helpful as well. Unemployment offices are not just for US Citizens, they're for anyone legally allowed to work!

Good luck, it can be tough out there.

Edited October 14, 2014 by d3adc0d3

[xmgirl 4]

Thank you for your reply we had no kids. There are no assests. But the other thing is he says he will not sign for divorce, which make things more difficult (I think)...

[JohnR! 5,495]

If he won't sign for a divorce, you can apply for your citizenship on your own, since you've been a LPR for more than 5 years.

Thank you for your reply we had no kids. There are no assests. But the other thing is he says he will not sign for divorce, which make things more difficult (I think)...

[d3adc0d3 186]

Thank you for your reply we had no kids. There are no assests. But the other thing is he says he will not sign for divorce, which make things more difficult (I think)...

No, you can file for divorce on your own, and if he doesn't show up for the divorce proceedings (you are legally required to notify him, via either Certified mail with return receipt, or via an officer/warden, depending on your state's regulations) they will grant it*.

If he claims he doesn't want the divorce, many states will grant it anyways if you've been legally separated for more than 1 year, as you've lived apart for 2, that would qualify so long as you can prove this.

You can apply for a citizenship on your own, you don't need him. Many divorced K1 GC holders do this. No worries, it's common.

* sorry I didn't finish my thought

Edited October 14, 2014 by d3adc0d3

[UnaMexicana 153]

I don't think I understand your question.

Now I am even considering to resign to the green card because all of this. You can move back to Mexico. The truth is that there are opportunities here. I have a job which I make good money of, I don't leave my house and moving up there is only to be with my husband, who hated living here. If you have not adjusted and have a hard time finding a job, I think this would be the most logical step for you. BUT I suggest you make the effort, get the citizenship and then move back if so you wish.

I am just wondering if he legally is still responsible for have brought me to this country and not to become a public charge. Yes, as long as you do not get your citizenship or get credited with the SS quarters, you are still her dependant.

I am just tired of him and his inability to find a job and support the both of us or at least try to encourage one another to move on. He seems to be too comfortable in his actual living. I never thought he will be something like this when I marry him. Relationships are a two way street so instead of focusing so much on the things he is doing wrong or the things he is not doing, I recommend you focus your energy on finding a job and being able to support yourself (anywhere). If you think this marriage is over and you no longer wish to be with him, file for divorce and move on.

I also question myself applying to get US citizenship. What is there to question? Go ahead and do it because that way you are no longer his dependant.

You need to separate the different issues that you seem to be going through. Only then can you have clarity and decide.

Please consider that time is much too precious to be wasting it on things that have no meaning. Life is a gift, you are healthy and you can make it. Many hugs and I hope you make the best decision.

Best,

UnaMexicana

[xmgirl 4]

Thanks d3adcd3 and Unamexicana for your answers...

Unamexicana:

my thinking about becoming a US citizen is because I feel so devastated for all of this having not much support from family cause of them are in Mex and they want me back there. My health is not that good I have suffered of panic attacks and severe anxiety because of all I been going through. I used to be a happy and positive person but right now I am just very down. I know the saying is that other people have gone through worse. But right now and right here it is hard for me to see that 'clarity' and my thoughts are to may be leave and left all of this of what I am tired of (leaving the US) and not returning...

Edited October 14, 2014 by xmgirl

[msbau764 245]

Thanks d3adcd3 and Unamexicana for your answers...

Unamexicana:

my thinking about becoming a US citizen is because I feel so devastated for all of this having not much support from family cause of them are in Mex and they want me back there. My health is not that good I have suffered of panic attacks and severe anxiety because of all I been going through. I used to be a happy and positive person but right now I am just very down. I know the saying is that other people have gone through worse. But right now and right here it is hard for me to see that 'clarity' and my thoughts are to may be leave and left all of this of what I am tired of (leaving the US) and not returning...

Do you have a college degree?

[xmgirl 4]

msbau764:

I have a four year university degree from my country. I know I would be ok going back and finding a job there. Before I left to come here I have worked in different sectors.

[Ian H. 207]

Hi,

I would suggest you apply for citizenship, don't give up your GC because you may regret it later. After you are better situated, you can petition your family. Also, as suggested previously if you have been an LPR for 5 years, you are eligible for food stamps and medicaid. Don't go on welfare unless you are beyond desperate, they will make you cry.

As for the divorce, feel free to laugh in his face when he says he won't sign. Many states have no fault divorce laws, and all you need to do is serve him with the papers. You wait for the statutory period and then you can get a final divorce. If he contests it, you may have a more difficult time, but if you have no children or property to fight over, then his contest would only be to annoy you. I feel for you and wish you the best of luck.

Edited October 14, 2014 by Ian H.

[mymarriagejourney 112]

I would get your US citizenship. This way, you will have an option to return to the US if you decide to go to Mexico for a few years.

[msbau764 245]

msbau764:

I have a four year university degree from my country. I know I would be ok going back and finding a job there. Before I left to come here I have worked in different sectors.

The economy in Mexico is not great, and there is more competition for positions than the US. What exactly do you specialize in? Is it possible to change careers? Not to mention you may find work in Mexico, but the salaries are typically very low.

[Kiv 32]

I would get your US citizenship. This way, you will have an option to return to the US if you decide to go to Mexico for a few years.

I agree with this, get your citizenship and focus on what you can do, if you have a degree it may be easier for you to find work in any side of the border. You have more options.

Buena suerte

[bronco37 16]

United States is the promised land. There are many countries in the world where many of those promises actually come true.

That said, let me address some of your issues..

1. I am just wondering if he legally is still responsible for have brought me to this country and not to become a public charge.
2. I also question myself applying to get US citizenship.

As to #1. He is responsible. But, what exactly is public charge? That means you receiving mean tested public benefits. Find me a state where you actually will receive most of those as an LPR. Most states will block you from receiving anything other than emergency medicaid as a non-citizen. You will, however, receive food stamps in some states. Maintaining you above 125% of poverty line as a man who himself is poor.. forgetaboutit.

As to #2, you should apply for U.S. Citizenship and possibly, find ways to maintain your Mexican citizenship.

You may find me BSing you, but, many of my U.S. Citizen colleagues now work in Mexico and enjoying Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooal.