ugly situation

[Robert/Jiamin 1]

I'm the citizen and I'm through with the marriage

but she refuses to go back to her home country or for that matter leave the relationship. Does anybody have any ideas on ridding me of this woman??? Sorry for not giving the juicy details which we all like but I need advice.

[CowBoE 429]

I guess it all depends on the circumstance,

there are options like VAWA for her to self-petition her way to GC,

in which case, you don't have the right pressure her out of the country.

Are you guys divorced? Or just headed that way now.

[JohnR! 5,495]

Robert, all you need do is get a divorce and move on with your life. You can't force your wife to leave the country but you can force her to leave your life by getting a divorce. If things get ugly you can get a restraining order so she won't bother you anymore.

Get a lawyer and get started on your divorcce.

Good luck.

[NikLR 13,220]

~~moved to effects of major family changes from IR1/CR1 process and procedures~~

[Jawaree 717]

The fact that U detest her comes thru in your post

divorce her and move on, save yourself from

hypertention, if U both marry in good faith U can do

nothing to send her home but pray she apply for

citizenship the minute she can.

PS: if just venting & U go back, get marriage counseling to

help...good luck dude

[Fan_Dancer 171]

Does she have a green card?

[Robert/Jiamin 1]

yes. think best to get a lawyer, trying to save $

[aaron2020 11,651]

I'm the citizen and I'm through with the marriage

but she refuses to go back to her home country or for that matter leave the relationship. Does anybody have any ideas on ridding me of this woman??? Sorry for not giving the juicy details which we all like but I need advice.

Hi,

You have no right to force her back to her country. Her refusal to leave is her decision. It's not yours. With a green card, she is entitled to stay.

To rid yourself of her, get a divorce.

Best of luck.

Edited August 18, 2014 by aaron2020

[CowBoE 429]

yes. think best to get a lawyer, trying to save $

Not too scare you, but I've posted this few times here on VJ site before.

My sister has a relative who married a foreign woman, and his father had to co-sign the

affidavit of support.

After she got the green card, she is seeking divorce, and husband's lawyer

has warned the husband and his father that they may be on the hook to

pay her financial support even after the divorce.

Though they had no children, she doesn't have college degree,

doesn't speak English, never worked, and doesn't want to work,

so this is creating a big headache for them.

Divorce hasn't finalized yet, so it'll be interesting to see how this will get resolved.

After the divorce, her going back to her country is for immigration officials to decide

and she has some options to pursue to stay here...especially if abuse was involved.

http://www.uscis.gov/humanitarian/battered-spouse-children-parents

I would be careful to not threaten her with deportation related or other threats

as that could possibly work against you.

The best thing you can do is to salvage the marriage if its at all possible,

if not the next best thing is to divorce and just stay out of her way and hope

that either she goes back to her country or become US citizen as soon as she can...

and if she's eligible to work in US...that she works to be financially self-sufficient.

[Ed and Gina 45]

Yup...agree with all. Encourage her to get a job...if she doesn't have one already. Then, file for divorce. If she doesn't want to leave the country...you can't force her. If you believe that she used you to gain a Green Card...you could report that to USCIS...but, it's doubtful that they will do much unless there are glaring circumstances to cause them to investigate further. They have their hands full as it is.

Just try to minimize the damage and move on.

Edited August 18, 2014 by Ed and Gina

[christeen 966]

With a green card you have no way to force her to leave. Divorce, protect your assets and yourself, all else that happens with her is then in her hands... Sorry but once GC is issued it is hers ...

[AmyWrites 593]

I guess it all depends on the circumstance,

there are options like VAWA for her to self-petition her way to GC,

in which case, you don't have the right pressure her out of the country.

Are you guys divorced? Or just headed that way now.

Can we NOT encourage people to use VAWA unless there's abuse involved? Jfc

[TBoneTX 42,989]

I don't think that anyone's recommending that she use VAWA to get a permanent green card (if she doesn't already have that); the poster simply seems to be observing that the wife might attempt to use VAWA, if necessary, or at least that she theoretically has that option.

The advice to the OP in post #3 is quite sound.

[Brit Abroad 166]

At one stage you loved this woman enough to go through the immigration process to get her here and marry her. Why not just sit down with her and explain that you can't continue in the relationship and what does SHE want to do for HER future? If you can part amicably you can bypass a lot of nastiness during and after the divorce. Someone who isn't constantly fighting you isn't going to be making life difficult for you either (don't forget that you are on the hook for any benefits she claims between now and 40 quarters or citizenship).

Are there reasons she doesn't want to return? Does she have a fear of being cut off from her family if you two get divorced? Is she scared to go home because she fears that she will be shamed and unmarriageable in her home country, rather than not wanting to? When you are angry with someone in a relationship the truth seldom comes out. People don't always express what they want when they feel powerless.

Please remember that this is not HER home country. She's a long way from home and probably doesn't have many friends, much less confidantes. No matter what has happened between you, put yourself in her shoes before you treat her too unkindly. Relationships break down, they are seldom one-way disasters.

[2ndMessiah 184]

Sorry, there is no returns policy when marrying a foreign national.

Relationships breakdown, so divorce and move on.

On a personal note I find it sad that so many people think they can apparently treat a foreign spouse differently to a US spouse and return them "home" like a defective appliance.