Am I eligible to file a vawa claim against my wife?

[najim243 0]

Hello Vj members thanks for your support for all the help and answers. I am in a very complicated and disastrous marriage right now. I came to the united states on a K1 Fiancee visa and been married to my now wife for almost 6months now but unfortunately that has been my worst nightmare ever!

Things just haven't been working no matter how hard I try to make things work, just 2 months after we got married, he daughter physically abused me by engaging in a fight with me,hitting me in the head and face, trying to get me to react so she could call the police on me but unfortunately for her I rather called the police on her and got her arrested and got the court to get a restraining order on her.

Few months after that incident I keep getting into petty quarrels with my wife almost everyday to the extent that she has promised not to support me again and that I should be responsible for myself. Don't get me wrong, I am not a lazy person or anything. am a very hardworking man. I just received my work permit abt a month ago and straight away I was able to find a job which am due to start in August. We just filed my AOS in March and went for an interview on June 20, which we had an RFE and were requested to submit my birth certificate together with her w2 which we already did on July 7, so I am waiting any further details from USCIS.

but we seem to be getting problems here and there and the marriage is simply not working. Just today I had to go to the mosque for evening Ramadan prayers but she prevented me from driving her car knowing that i don't know my way around our newly moved place. She intentionally did that cuz she knew I would be going for prayers and hide the key when she knew the mosque was about 14miles from where we currently live. To me I feel that is an infringement of rights since somehow she's preventing me from practicing my religion by doing that. I couldn't go to the mosque because of that. she has also promised not to support me again or touch anything that belongs to her and also threatened to throw me out even though my name is on our lease too. she said I should be totally in charge of myself and she has nothing to do with me again. She called the police on me but after they heard both of our stories so they couldn't do much. right now I just can't live like this with someone who is going to be preventing me from practicing my religion and threatening me.

I need VJ family to help me in my complicated case and how I can get out of this mess. am totally fed up of this marriage but at the same time I don't have no family or friends here and no where to go .I kindly want the best advice from VJ FAMILY THANK YOU

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Sorry your marriage is on the rocks, but you can't seek protection under VAWA. You would have to have experienced a pattern of EXTREME cruelty, which would have effected your state of mind in medical sense - so certified by licensed therapist.

From your statement, you're deeply inconvenienced by your spouse - but you retain full control of your mind. I don't know your local police and community services; but in NYC police has Domestic Violence specialists, who can set the couple into helpful services. Best of luck! If you came to the US to marry your chosen, you'll need to work on your marriage - and not just give it up. If it turns out that your wife is hopelessly predisposed to violence and she's unlikely to change, then you may have to divorce. But still, no VAWA - unless she has assaulted you causing bodily harm

Edited July 28, 2014 by SingleDad2usc

[Ihavequestions 419]

Sorry, but no VAWA here.

Sure, you have the right to practice your religion. But no one, not one single person, has an obligation to help you practice your religion. You don't have a right to take the car just because it's there and you want to use it, either.

Perhaps you should try working on keeping your marriage together?

[Sandra G. 5,009]

Considering what you said I don't see you are suffering extreme cruelty. You are experiencing what USCIS call "unpleasant situations" , but not abuse.If she does not allow you to drive her car or take you to the mosque, get a bus, a cab,ask a friend a ride.Abuse would be if she locks the door, take the keys away, and do not allow you to worship.I don't see any mention about that here,and of course just one isolated act as i mentioned does not constitute mental cruelty either.Extreme cruelty is a pattern of coercive control,humiliation,degradation by the perpetrator, the extreme cruelty causes anguish to the victims that develops major depression,and/or post traumatic disorder etc..I truly believe you are disappointed , you have a bad marriage, got married to a mean person, that is it!

Edited July 28, 2014 by sandranj

[kzielu 1,144]

I need VJ family to help me in my complicated case and how I can get out of this mess. am totally fed up of this marriage but at the same time I don't have no family or friends here and no where to go .I kindly want the best advice from VJ FAMILY THANK YOU

Since you're unhappy with your wife and have no friend/ family, would divorce and return back to Ghana be an option ?

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

You have not said anything about why your marriage is breaking down. You mentioned one incident with the step-daughter (which isn't surprising as many step ids take time to adjust). And the car. You called your marriage a nightmare but I have not seen anything more than "inconvenience".

Why is your wife doing this to you? Was she always nice and sweet and one day she woke up and started being a ? I doubt that? What did you do/say? If she has always been this way (I doubt anybody wants to be in the US that bad to put up with that), why would you ever come here?

Perhaps she feels like she's being used for a GC. It's just a guess since you didn't give any supporting info as to why your wife is acting this way.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Perhaps it is you who needs to change your expectations of what a wife is, especially an American wife. What were you expecting?

As to the car - do you have an American driver's license? Did you think she might have felt used by you and sharing a car that she bought might be a stretch. For some people who believe in traditional gender roles, a woman forking over what she has earned to her husband or economically supporting him can be distasteful. I know my husband didn't get his name on one of our cars until he earned it himself. I wouldn't have stopped him from using it because I'm not passive aggressive like that, but I have seen Americans do that kind of thing (not a sign of a healthy relationship).

[Karee 4,189]

Sounds like your green card should be showing up any day now, so no point in worrying about VAWA.

[verysadguy 170]

Considering what you said I don't see you are suffering extreme cruelty. You are experiencing what USCIS call "unpleasant situations" , but not abuse.If she does not allow you to drive her car or take you to the mosque, get a bus, a cab,ask a friend a ride.Abuse would be if she locks the door, take the keys away, and do not allow you to worship.I don't see any mention about that here,and of course just one isolated act as i mentioned does not constitute mental cruelty either.Extreme cruelty is a pattern of coercive control,humiliation,degradation by the perpetrator, the extreme cruelty causes anguish to the victims that develops major depression,and/or post traumatic disorder etc..I truly believe you are disappointed , you have a bad marriage, got married to a mean person, that is it!

Of course that is true in this case, ie not extreme cruelty, if that is what the filer actually puts in their affidavit. I'm willing to bet that a huge percentage of these affidavits are full of hogwash. The "victims" of abuse are likely to say they were yelled at, cursed at, called names, berated, and sexually defiled. Not to mention they will tell their psychotherapists they couldn't sleep, cried daily, walked on eggshells, recoiled from their "abusive" USC spouse etc.

Why not lie? LPR status brings an EAD and benefits and money etc. Just sayin'

I applaud this poster for at least telling what appears to be mostly factual information to gauge in reality what his chances of VAWA approval are. What really makes it in to the filing is anyone's guess.

I have a hard time believing, based on statistics, that 40 people per day on average are abused while married and not yet having an approved Visa.

Sandranj, as always, thanks to you for your expertise on the legalities and processes of DV related immigration.

[najim243 0]

okay thank you all for your replies and comments but anyway just to clarify things, I am not trying to file for any VAWA. I just wanted to find out what my eligibility was if it has to come to that but I appreciate your replies. Anyway my wife and I are working things out together now so hopefully we will be fine! thanks

[Sandra G. 5,009]

Good luck with her,because you will need man.