Quitting and Starting All Over Again

[Butterfly123 5]

Hello everyone.

I have been reading VJ forums for a long time now. It was the only way I could submit my K-1 application without a lawyer.

We submitted in March. The last time my fiance and I saw each other, our hearts were beyond broken to leave each other again.

That was in February. Now it is almost the end of July, and our visa application has barely moved. Every time I check the timelines

for Texas, I see that nothing has progressed at all.

Like everybody here, my loved one and I are missing each other so much. But we talked last night and we both agreed that the wait

and uncertainty are killing us. In my case, I have to say honestly that it is making me depressed.

So he proposed to me that he go to France. He was born in Belgium but lost his citizenship because his family moved out of the country

when he was 13 and in those days Belgium did not allow dual citizenship. But he is eligible to get his citizenship back, and his grandparents still

live there. However, he prefers France to work, he said.

He want to go to France, get a little settled, and then have me join him there.

I feel bad that we invested time and money in the K-1 visa and already wasted so many months of our lives with waiting and no progress.

If I go to France, I guess we will have to cancel the K-1 application and start again with a whole new type of visa. I still want us to come back

to the US, because my parents are here and they are aging.

If I go to France, he will be the one supporting us financially, Maybe I'll get a job if I can manage to do it, but I don't even speak good French.

He is fluent, since he grew up in Belgium, and he's familiar with European life.

Am I still going to prove I can support him in USA if we apply for another type of visa later? How can I do that if I have not been working in USA....what do other couples do who are living abroad.

Thank you for support. I never knew or could have imagined how awful it is to have this separation for so long. I know many of you are in the same situation. I am only staying in US because of my family, especially my parents. I don't like to leave them. For myself, I don't care where I live, but I always had a rough relationship with my parents and now I want to be there for them when they are older. I can't bear to leave them now after all the did for me.

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

I don't know how long citizenship from France takes for your husband, but it can't be that much longer than the K1....it usually takes 7 months to a year max...don't know what's currently going on, but it shouldn't be long till you hear something...that being said, I think it would be awesome to live in Europe...you can travel to Turkey so much easier....buuuut will you be happy in the long run once marriage settles and becomes routine...comfortable, yet routine, once the excitement if a new relationship

wears off? That's something to think about....the time waiting is hard, but it serves a purpose..

[S_R 148]

Hi butterfly, if you submitted your petition in march you are still very much within the 5 months processing time line stipulated by USCIS. You would be giving up a few weeks shy of an approval.

[Butterfly123 5]

I don't know how long citizenship from France takes for your husband, but it can't be that much longer than the K1....it usually takes 7 months to a year max...don't know what's currently going on, but it shouldn't be long till you hear something...that being said, I think it would be awesome to live in Europe...you can travel to Turkey so much easier....buuuut will you be happy in the long run once marriage settles and becomes routine...comfortable, yet routine, once the excitement if a new relationship

wears off? That's something to think about....the time waiting is hard, but it serves a purpose..

It will take him a year of living there to get his citizenship from Belgium. Sorry for the confusion, it is Belgium, not France. But he doesn't have to live in Belgium, just prove ties.

The way things are going in TSC, they are still reviewing from January, and that is just the first step. Every day I check, the dates have not progressed. It looks like it will be 2-3 more months before NA-2, then who knows how much longer for the embassy....7 or 8 months or who knows. We are already at our emotional limit, both of us. It is beyond and way past the point where it is healthy for us to be apart.

I am not from Turkey, I am from USA....I am the one who was requesting the K-1 for him...Sorry, maybe it seems I am not from USA because my English grammar is so bad.... ;-) But that is just because I am so stressed, tired, and lonely right now.

[Butterfly123 5]

Hi butterfly, if you submitted your petition in march you are still very much within the 5 months processing time line stipulated by USCIS. You would be giving up a few weeks shy of an approval.

But isn't that just the first step? Then it has to go on from there?

If it were just a few weeks, I could bear it, but I am thinking this way:

They are processing January 27 at TSC. We submitted end of March. That means two more months before we get our second N of A. Then, isn't it like 3-5 months more before you get your embassy interview? That's 5-7 months.

Last time I saw my fiance, we wanted to get married then and just stay together, but then we decided to do the K-1 visa. Well, I decided, and now I regret it so much.

[Penguin_ie 5,985]

What would your timeline be for moving over though? It sounds like he'd move to Belgium first, and establish himself, then you need a visa to move there... that would likely take longer than the 6-ish month you have to go on the K1 visa.

Now, if you are just missing eachother and want to see eachother, then visit- either you him or he you.

[Butterfly123 5]

What would your timeline be for moving over though? It sounds like he'd move to Belgium first, and establish himself, then you need a visa to move there... that would likely take longer than the 6-ish month you have to go on the K1 visa.

Now, if you are just missing eachother and want to see eachother, then visit- either you him or he you.

I don't know. I didn't really think about a visa to France. I've been to Europe as a tourist but never thought of moving there.

I wasn't thinking it would take six months to be able to join him in France. I thought maybe 2 months. And what if he doesn't do it and for some reason we get further delayed

or not approved for the K-1 visa? I'll go off the deep end.

We can't visit now. Neither of us can take more time off work.

[Mollie09 1,543]

Spouses of EU citizens don't need visas to live in the EU.

[Butterfly123 5]

Spouses of EU citizens don't need visas to live in the EU.

That is the good news for us. The bad news is that it will take him a year to get his EU citizenship back. Well, maybe not a year but we think so maybe.

[Ketsuban 1,034]

Spouses of EU citizens don't need visas to live in the EU.

You sure about that? :S My husband can't live with me in the UK without a visa.

[ashleyphilly 70]

Hey we submitted in January, and we are still waiting. I didnt see my fiancee since last year September. Hang in there. We should hear sth soon. After we get the NOA2, things will move very quickly. Besides Turkish embassy isnt high fraud so as long as you provide the paperwork, your fiancee should get his visa. Im telling you i didnt see my fiancee close to a year, and we were living together in US. How about that? Just hang in one or two more months.

[Butterfly123 5]

Hey we submitted in January, and we are still waiting. I didnt see my fiancee since last year September. Hang in there. We should hear sth soon. After we get the NOA2, things will move very quickly. Besides Turkish embassy isnt high fraud so as long as you provide the paperwork, your fiancee should get his visa. Im telling you i didnt see my fiancee close to a year, and we were living together in US. How about that? Just hang in one or two more months.

But how are you bearing it? I cannot bear it really. It is causing me a real depression. :-( It is making me really bitter.

[averageguy6 22]

Well its been over a year for us and still waiting.... but I have been visiting every month.

I used to think it was worth expatriating, but when your relationship moves on AND if you can visit, you calm down a bit about the separation. I agree without the visits it would not have worked out.

Now a male from Turkey might (I dont know for sure, but I bet its common you need to check) go into almost automatic AP for a security check....see if you can check the embassy timelines for other males from Turkey.

In that case you may be correct in your worries...it could be several months more even AFTER you get NVC number. You may not have to wait 2 month for approval though as they could catch up at any time. Its hard to say when TSC will catch up. It could happen all of a sudden.

I understand how you feel, as you really cant be sure of a timeline.

It would be better if you could visit frequently. Considering that you are possibly leaving your job forever....can you not get a different job that will allow you to travel more often?

If you could visit for 10 days every 2 months would that change your mind? Check your finances and work options. Expatriating is a big stress to add to anyones life and an extra stress in a new relationship.

You are correct to question the timeline. I truly believe that in your case it could be a while....it really depends upon the embassy there and how they view Turkish men as far as being a national security threat. In many countries now AP is almost mandatory...so check up on that if you can.

Good luck.

[ashleyphilly 70]

We talk a lot. We talk about funny stuff that happened in our lives. We know this is temporary. Can you go and visit him? Try to keep busy, but seriously dont quit. What are you going to do in France. Not being able to work will be another depressing situation for you. Besides your parents need you. Once we will be together, this will be a memory. Also dont forget that Turkey isnt high fraud.

[Butterfly123 5]

We talk a lot. We talk about funny stuff that happened in our lives. We know this is temporary. Can you go and visit him? Try to keep busy, but seriously dont quit. What are you going to do in France. Not being able to work will be another depressing situation for you. Besides your parents need you. Once we will be together, this will be a memory. Also dont forget that Turkey isnt high fraud.

But. it is not working for us. :-( We can barely talk to each other because our work schedules conflict. We have not had a decent conversation for weeks because of this. Nothing could be worse than the situation we have now. For us, anyway. We never know when it will be over. Even if everyone says it will be over soon, I can see for myself that the visa applications being processed have not changed in almost a month. Nothing is progressing.

I do not care about not working. Why would that be depressing? As long as he can support us, I don't care if I have a job or not. I would rather be poor and have nothing than live like this.

The only problem is my parents...but they don't need me at this moment, they are really fine right now.