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[JustJ]

I do check the I2US site, but thought I'd post here as well, as I love VJers.

I remember seeing something on TV a while back about how the care of elderly parents most often falls to daughters. Can anybody think of a source for a written statistic on that? I'd like to attach it to my hardship letter to give it more weight.

I have an aging mother and 5 siblings. We all live in the same area, but I am just down the street and have a house that is divided in half. So Mom could eventually move in with me, have her "independence," while having me just next door in case of problems. My other siblings either live further away, or have several children to care for. (I am childless). I am the logical choice for her caregiver as she ages.

Any ideas??

[canadian_wife]

These sorts of stats won't help you, you'll need to provide evidence on why YOU must care for your elderly parent and why a sibling cannot. Showing stats and saying "95% of families have the daughter care for the older parent" does not prove why it must be YOU who does it and no one else.

You have good arguments on why it must be you who cares for her, you just need to focus on that, and less on the statistics


Good luck.

[JustJ]

Thanks for your opinion. I appreciate it.

I have better arguments why the responsibility will fall to me as my mother ages, but I thought maybe I could beef it up with some stats that show daughters are often responsibe, since I am only 1 of 2 daughters. My sister has 6 children and I have none. My brothers live in the area, but they either have large farms to tend, or are still busy taking care of their children.

I'm not sure if my mother's opinion matters, but she will certainly want me to be her caregiver. I was planning to start my argument like this:

Mothers aged 65-75 are almost four times more likely to choose a daughter for their caregiver (see Exhibit A), and our family's situation is no different.

And THEN I was going to go into her conditions and the weightier reasons why it must be me who cares for her.

[allousa]

I did state in our application for hardship that I am the ONLY child in the family to care for my grandmother and her sister. I did not show any type of facts, but simply stated that I was the only family member to care for them when they no longer could care for themselves and how this would be an extreme hardship if I had to move to another country if my husband was not granted the waiver.